You know the scene — that tumultuous environment known as the high school cafeteria.
You know the feeling of walking in to such a setting, lunch in hand, scouring the room for a place to sit.
Am I allowed to sit at that table?
What would people think if I sat there?
I can’t sit with them; they’re not my crowd.
And many of us know the feeling from the other side — the person sitting at the table, monitoring the movements of the hopeful seat hunters.
Are they going to sit here?
What would people think if they sat with us?
They aren’t one of us, I hope they don’t try it.
We call them “cliques” in high school. At that stage of life, we’re identified by what we do and who we spend time with; by the sports we play or don’t; by the grades we get (or don’t); and by our general attitude toward this building we’re required to be in.
Honestly, it’s easier to eat lunch with people who do the same things we do. It’s fun to talk about music with other people who like it. There’s camaraderie in clowning around with the other guys on the football team. And it’s motivating to sit alongside students with the same goals of getting into a good college like we want to.
The problems come when we see anyone outside this circle — anyone not at this table — as “them,” and anyone inside it — anyone sitting at the table — as “us.”
And that isn’t just a high school problem.
As college students, and young adults, and married couples, and parents, and voters, and sports fans, and co-workers, it’s common to fall into the “them” and “us” way of thinking.
Honestly, we don’t need to talk about whether this is right or wrong.
We know.
Deep down we know it’s a shallow view of life to only commune with those who look like us, or act like us, or think like us.
But, we also know it’s comfortable.
It feels good to be affirmed, to be heard, to be able to say what we really think.
And the truth is, we also know being around like-minded people holds some value.
It is a valuable thing to be able to gather with people who will listen to us, understand where we’re coming from, and who can offer specific, tailored counsel to our situation and circumstance.
So, what do we do?
Do we sit at the lunchroom table with only “our” people?
Or do we allow others who might upset the established vibe to join us?
In the Bible, we see Jesus navigate this issue with beautiful balance.
Jesus, throughout his ministry, has his guys — the disciples — with him wherever he goes. He spends a lot of time with them. In the book of Acts we come to understand that these men are leaders he’s raising up to lead the church in its infancy, but they’re also just his buddies. He eats with them, teaches them, travels with them, and works alongside them.
But, Jesus’ purpose isn’t solely focused on these men. He has other things he’s trying to accomplish as well.
We see him go out of his way to speak with the woman at the well (John 4:1-42), and stay at Zacchaeus the chief tax collector’s house (Luke 19:1-10), and heal the sick like the paralyzed man (Luke 5:17-26) or the woman with the issue of bleeding (Mark 5:24-34), and love the hurting like Jairus the ruler of the synagogue and his daughter (Mark 5:21-24, 35-43) and Mary, Martha, and Lazarus (John 11:1-44).
These aren’t the people it would have been most advantageous for Jesus to be around. These were the outsiders and outcasts, the broken and the beaten-down, the desperate and the dying.
If this were the high school cafeteria, Jesus would have been working to push all the tables together, including — and maybe especially — the ones where no one else wanted to be.
Jesus made room at his table.
Just like he made room for you.
This is the beauty of the Gospel, that Jesus would invite us in, that he would offer us a place in his father’s family, by doing for us what we couldn’t do for ourselves — despite our differences and despite our disobedience.
But it doesn’t end there.
Jesus not only invites us in to salvation and grace, but he then invites us into his mission of extending that same offer to everyone in the world.
“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
– Matthew 28:19-20
At Clear Creek Community Church, we say we want to reach every man, woman, and child, in our geography with the gospel, and that our mission is to lead unchurched people to become fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ.
There are a lot of people in this cafeteria we call the 4B Area. There are many different cliques, a variety of people groups and social statuses, and a wealth of diversity. But if we want to live out the mission of not only our church, but of Jesus, then we must be willing to do the uncomfortable, the unconventional, and maybe even the “uncool” — to ask people who don’t normally sit with us to take a seat.
Is there room at your table?
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/linkedin-sales-solutions-jJFrkJP_-RA-unsplash-scaled.jpg13652048Jon Coffeyhttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngJon Coffey2021-11-02 13:34:532024-02-16 11:22:41A Seat at the Table
Growing up, food was important to my family. My parents regularly served exquisite dinners on weeknights, and really went all out on holidays. Meals were a huge part of our traditions, and so many of my deepest childhood memories take place around the dinner table.
Food was a pillar of our family culture, essential to the depth of our relationships.
But it was never really about the food. There was something bigger going on around the table.
While I have always associated meals with family traditions, food took on a deeper meaning when I found myself overwhelmed with grief over a series of deep losses.
The night I gave birth to a sweet baby boy that I would never bring home, my friend Lisa arrived with a ham. It was a gesture of support and love to our family but ended up being so much more. As she hugged me on the way out the door, she told me I felt feverish and that I should take my temperature. A short time later I was rushed to the hospital — a new, struggling life about to be born and then just as quickly, to pass.
That night, a ham was not just a ham.
During an 8-week hospital bedrest stay in Houston’s medical center, I received gourmet meals almost weekly. Each delicious dinner was accompanied by expensive plates and precious linens. Often friends would deliver the meals on the chef’s behalf with specific instructions on table setting and food presentation. These meals were more than sustenance, they were tangible reflections of love — my friend showing me I was seen, I was known, and that she cared.
When I was pregnant with my now 7-year-old, I received dinners every week, delivered in a beautiful Longaberger basket lined with a freshly pressed red gingham kitchen towel. The basket always arrived on time, and it always included warm, crusty bread that reminded me and my family that we weren’t alone on this journey.
After Hurricane Harvey devastated our house and made cooking impossible, friends delivered sack lunches and demanded I eat, even when I didn’t want to. Their love, wrapped in a paper bag, sustained me when it was hard to just stay standing.
As we rebuilt our home, we pulled tables together on our street to share a meal of spaghetti and lemonade with our neighbors who shared the same plight. We had no idea how long it would take to rebuild our homes, but we laughed, prayed, and for an hour, forgot about the harrowing journey we had ahead of us. Food brought us peace, strength, and warmth in the midst of rubble and debris.
When our adoptive son arrived a year ago, I remember the warm, fresh cookies delivered to our door and the abundance of snacks brought in bulk.
Through these experiences I learned that food brings so much more than physical nutrition or energy. Food became a comfort not just rooted in family tradition, but a symbol of love, care, and presence from those outside my family circle.
When shared with someone you love, or gifted to you by someone who cares, food is a relationship builder. It’s intimate, humbling, and communal.
Sometimes meals are memorable — the specific flavors and aromas — but more often it’s the experience of fellowship that sticks with us long after the meal is over.
Whether you make it or buy it, whether you send it, place it in a cooler on a front porch, or hand it directly into someone’s arms, the gesture shows those friends you care, you see them, and you love them. It shows them you acknowledge their pain, even if you have never experienced it yourself.
These profound experiences of receiving love in the form of food have changed me. I have learned to pay attention to the circumstances of others and when in doubt, send food.
It isn’t what you send but that you send.
As believers, our prayers and love for others should propel us to action, especially when we see others hurting and in need, but even when it’s just a simple gesture of kindness. Our friends don’t have to be in a deep pit of despair for us to send them a meal, it can just be a Thursday.
For believers, a meal is more than food. It is a symbol of God’s love and compassion for his creation, and we should share that in every possible way we can.
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/jed-owen-NPBnWE1o07I-unsplash-scaled.jpg16382048Allison Swensonhttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngAllison Swenson2021-10-26 15:00:382024-02-22 12:31:34More Than a Meal
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
— Matthew 5:5
Meekness isn’t the most valuable virtue in our day and age. In fact, we often struggle to see it as a virtue at all. Even in those who are expected to be obedient to authority – children and employees – no one is likely to list meekness as one of their strengths in a job interview. Few of us pray for children who would be described as meek. Even those who might recognize a natural bent toward compliance or quietness often strive to cast off those characteristics and assert themselves more. I’ve never seen any high school label a graduate with a “Most Likely to be Meek” award.
Meekness in our culture carries a connotation of a doormat: a person characterized by fear and timidity, noticed only for being unworthy of notice. We may picture a mouselike personality who avoids conflict at any cost or never speaks up.
So, is this what Jesus is praising in the third Beatitude?
Is he hopelessly behind the times, a throwback to when children (and women) were to be seen but not heard? Or do we need to change our modern mindset and aim for doormat status, never speaking up or standing out?
Often, when we struggle to make sense of Scripture, it’s not due to a lack of clarity in the passage itself, but rather the cloudiness of the lens though which we’re examining it. In the third beatitude, we have to make sure we’re understanding Jesus’ words with his definitions rather than those of our culture.
The word translated meek in the ESV can also be translated gentle.
Honestly, gentle doesn’t feel much better. It’s certainly a very gendered word in our culture. Even when we use the word gentleman, we tend to mean something more like cultured or well-mannered. It’s okay for our daughters to be gentle, but most of us wouldn’t be excited for a football coach to describe our son that way.
But, I think we can get a little help seeing what Jesus intends in the third Beatitude from the idea of gentleness.
It’s a little easier for us to imagine an offensive lineman gently cradling his newborn, or a well-trained Clydesdale stepping gently around a corral with a young novice rider clinging to his mane. There’s a note there of strength, rather than weakness. It’s not that the gentle man is incapable of asserting his power, but that he chooses to restrain himself to safeguard or support another.
If you continue reading the book of Matthew after the Beatitudes, you see the author frequently portraying Jesus as the demonstration of each of these blessed traits, often even using the same word.
Gentleness is no exception:
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
— Matthew 11:28-30
Jesus has been given all authority in heaven and earth. He holds the power of the earthquake and thunderstorm in his hands. He is the King of Kings who will come at the end of days to judge the earth and conquer his enemies.
And yet, he tells us that his heart is gentle and lowly.
Jesus has restrained his strength for the good of another. He is patient and tender toward his children. He recognizes our struggles without disappointment. He is with us in our failures without disgust. His meekness is not weakness, but a gentle lovingkindness on our behalf.
If we begin to see meekness through Jesus’ lens, we will also begin to see opportunities to emulate him. Meekness is not a lack of assertion, but assertion used to provide for the needy. Meekness is not a fear of speaking up, but a boldness to speak on behalf of the widow and the orphan. Meekness is not an avoidance of conflict, but a choice to fight for the sake of the powerless. Meekness is humbly seeking the glory of God and the good of others.
Jesus says that the meek will inherit the earth, which can feel exceptionally false in our day and age, just as the idea of praising meekness at all feels farfetched in our culture. Look around you: it’s not the meek who are “winning.” Our culture fundamentally rewards arrogance, aggressiveness, and self-assertion.
But we must remember that godly inheritance is always a future promise. It’s not a gift given in the moment, but an intentional laying-aside for a time to come. And it’s coming is sure.
Our gentle and lowly Lord will come on the clouds to inherit the earth, and those who follow him in meekness will reign eternally with him.
May we spend our strength in a sacrifice of selflessness today.
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
— Philippians 4:5 (NIV)
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/liane-metzler-B32qg6Ua34Y-unsplash-scaled.jpg15362048Mandy Turnerhttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngMandy Turner2021-10-19 13:52:342021-10-19 13:52:34Blessed Are the Meek
If you’re like me, reading through the Beatitudes can feel like a lesson in failure, none more so than when Jesus proclaims, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God,” (Matthew 5:8).
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
– Matthew 5:8
The greatest desire of my heart is to see God, but this same heart that so desires God, well, to say it isn’t pure is an understatement. Pure means clean, without blemish, perfect.
My heart, the innermost part of who I am, is anything but pure.
Jesus is consistently concerned, not with outward appearances, but with the condition of our hearts. A few chapters later, Jesus reminds us that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” In my life, the true condition of my heart is usually exposed first thing in the morning. My kids are late, there are 100 things to do, and my mouth quickly reveals my heart to my family and myself.
It’s not always pretty, and it certainly isn’t pure. And even when I am doing things right, the motivations of my heart are so often wrong. I give because I want to receive, I serve because I want recognition, or I take care of my kids and still resent their demands.
My heart is just not pure.
John reminds us of the vast difference between Jesus and the rest of mankind, “This is the message we have heard from him [Jesus] and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth,” (1 John 1:5-6).
There is no darkness, no blemish, no sin in God at all. He’s perfect, but we are not. He’s pure. We are impure.
So how, then, can we ever “see God” like Jesus said the pure of heart would?
But if we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
– 1 John 1:7-9
Faith in Jesus leads to a pure heart that can see God. We see God, truly and only, in Christ.
The Sermon on the Mount was taught at the beginning of Jesus’ ministry and announced the inauguration of the kingdom of God. This message, which includes the Beatitudes, wasn’t meant to tell everyone what their lives look like. Instead, Jesus was proclaiming what they can and will look like in his coming kingdom—if they follow the king.
I don’t know about you, but I make a lousy king.
My heart isn’t pure.
I am fearful when I should have faith.
I am selfish when I should sacrifice.
I lament when I should worship and laugh when I should mourn.
I just get it all wrong, most of the time.
But Jesus, our king — the true king — is the only one with a pure, unblemished heart. Jesus, who not only sees God, but is God himself, makes us pure through his atoning sacrifice and his living presence.
When we trust in him, we are declared pure in Christ, and we are also assured of seeing God one day.
Jesus’ promised kingdom, described in the Beatitudes, will one day be perfectly consummated. Jesus will return, and our hearts — unbelievable as it seems — will be cleansed forever and we will spend eternity in his presence.
Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared, but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.
– 1 John 3:2-3
For disciples of Jesus, the Beatitudes shouldn’t be a list that leads to condemnation but, instead, a list that leads to hope in the eternal promises of God and the blessed life under the reign of Jesus.
Understanding our failings draw us to the feet of Jesus. Only there are we made new, whole, and pure. And only then can we see God.
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/ken-cheung-xoS6q2dkd54-unsplash-scaled.jpg14632048Rachel Chesterhttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngRachel Chester2021-10-14 13:39:042021-10-14 13:39:04Blessed are the Pure in Heart
Adoption has been an important feature of the Church from antiquity. Throughout the centuries believers have adopted children in a variety of circumstances, and adoption has become a powerful picture of the Gospel to the world.
After Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection, the movement of Christ-followers that became known as the Church began to spread over the known world. The dominant Roman culture of the age did not value human life in the same way as the growing Christian movement.¹
Christians understood humanity to be created in the image of God and thereby each person had value and worth, including “unwanted” children. While Roman historians differ in reasoning why Roman culture was comfortable with discarding children, historical and archeological research tells us that the Romans had no qualms about abandoning children for any reason, whether due to gender, deformity, or family situation. Unwanted children were regularly deserted outside ancient cities.
But Jesus’ followers, motivated by the doctrine of the image of God and love for people, became known for taking in these unwanted children.² From the very beginning of the movement, the Church has been known (at least in part) for the adoption of children.
But what led these believers to this kind of care for orphans?
I think there are two great answers to this question.
First, God makes it clear to us in his word that he cares for those without a family. Psalm 68:5 describes God as “Father for the fatherless and protector of widows.” The Scriptural command to care for the orphan has a rich theological foundation. God has a heart for the orphan and the Gospel — the story of Christ coming to earth to reconcile wayward people with the Father — illuminates this. Believers are referred to as co-heirs with Christ and as sons of God the Father.
The Gospel is an adoption story.
Because of Jesus’ work, believers are adopted into God’s family.
Second, as we become more like Christ, we should look more like him and reflect his heart for the orphan. James 1:27 states “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” James, the brother of Jesus, explained what it looks like for Christians to hear and do what Scripture calls us to, and the example that he gave was to “visit orphans and widows in their affliction.”
As believers grow in their relationship with Christ, God’s priorities will become our priorities. Our heart should look like his, including care for orphans.
The early Church understood the doctrine of adoption as a counter-cultural phenomenon and acted on that doctrine. Adoption in Rome was typically reserved for wealthy childless couples. These families would adopt a young adult that seemed worthy of carrying on the family name. The adoptee would have to prove to be worth bringing into the family to become an heir.
The Christian doctrine of adoption completely turned this around!
Instead of the adoptee proving themselves before adoption, the Father brought in those who had proven themselves to be unworthy! The fact that the Son came to bring us into his family and make us co-heirs with him in God’s family should give us the greatest sense of joyful hope possible.
We live in a culture where adoption is a common occurrence, but the early Church changed the entire culture by demonstrating love for orphans motivated by their understanding of the Gospel.
As we help parents in the adoption process, and care for widows, the sick, and the needy, we are not only obeying the commands and model of Scripture, but we are standing with a great cloud of witnesses who came before us.
Christians continue to lead the way in advocating for adoption, and the need to care for the orphaned is as pressing today as it was during the first century. The counter-cultural witness that early believers displayed through adoption is still available.
While Christians adopt children at double the rate of non-Christian Americans, there are still nearly half a million American children in foster care. The opportunity is great and there are several ways that believers can care for needy children directly and indirectly.
And even though not all believers are called to adopt, our care for orphans can be shown in other ways. If you are not adopting, your support of the Church, helpful nonprofits, and believers going through the adoption process is a great way to serve and offer aid.
¹ Viegas, Jennifer. “Infanticide Common in Roman Empire.” NBCNews.com, NBCUniversal News Group, 5 May 2011, https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna42911813.
² A helpful resource in developing a theology of adoption is the chapter “Sons of God” in JI Packer’s book Knowing God. (Packer, J. I. Knowing God. InterVarsity Press, 1973.)
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/christian-lue-_Qar8FCF74U-unsplash-scaled.jpg13652048Gary Vander Wielehttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngGary Vander Wiele2021-10-13 10:22:582021-10-13 10:22:58Adoption and the Gospel
When my daughter received a donut-shaped palette of lip gloss for her seventh birthday, she squealed with such excitement that I questioned why I’ve ever spent money on Disney World tickets. For two dollars and fifty cents, she was thrilled.
It’s understandable then why my shoulder caught her heartbroken tears a few hours later after her younger sister destroyed her beloved gift.
I prompted my youngest daughter to reconcile with her sister by looking her in the eye, admitting her fault without excuse, and asking for forgiveness. But on this particular day, extending mercy had no appeal whatsoever for my tender-hearted seven-year-old.
“I don’t want to forgive her, Mom! She should lose something that’s special to her, too!” she continued to sob.
I’ve felt that.
In fact, I’m a lot more like my daughter than I’d want you to know. When my well-being is my sole concern, I can get so focused on my own cheap sense of justice that I forfeit the gift to my own soul that extending mercy offers.
Maybe that’s what Jesus hoped we’d experience when he taught about mercy in the “Sermon on the Mount.” To show his audience — full of followers and foe alike — what the kingdom of heaven is like, Jesus inverted everything they thought they knew starting with a list of qualities among the “blessed.” This list that praised the poor in spirit, the mourning, and the meek, would have been purposely polarizing to an audience of elites and outcasts.
In Matthew 5:11, mercy makes that list:
“Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.”
“Blessed are the merciful…”
Mercy takes place where forgiveness and kindness collide. At least that’s how it’s felt to me as I’ve been on mercy’s receiving end.
I feel the effect of mercy when my sin hurts people I love but they still meet me with forgiveness, or when my needs are met by the kind help of others. In both circumstances, the givers of mercy fit Jesus’ description of the merciful: they are “blessed.” The blessed experience joy in the company of God because they have responded to Christ.
Joy and mercy are connected cyclically in the gospel: the joy that the merciful have in their relationship with Christ fuels their generosity, and their generosity deepens the joy they find in Christ. Mercy is as great of a gift to the giver as it is the receiver.
“…For they will receive mercy.”
Left to my natural sin-skewed view, mercy can appear weak. If I equate it to withholding consequences, I’ll scoff at the perceived lack of justice. But actually, it requires great strength.
Jesus highlights the juxtaposition of mercy by setting our assumptions about it against how it actually works; it’s not weakness, it’s strength. It’s not one-sided, it’s an exchange.
On the cross, forgiveness and kindness collided in the ultimate act of mercy. Jesus willingly died on our behalf to pay the penalty of our sin. He was merciful so that we might receive mercy, and because of his surrender and sacrifice, we get to experience joy in the company of God forever!
In the meantime, we have the opportunity to respond to Jesus’ gift of mercy by extending it to one another. And, although, it can be difficult for us we don’t have to do it alone! The gift of the Holy Spirit enables us to emulate Christ like we never could on our own.
Perhaps as we do, we’ll get a small taste of the upside-down kingdom Jesus taught about and find that extending mercy is as much a gift to ourselves as those to whom we give it.
Where is God calling you to offer mercy today?
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/scott-higdon-b8wjYDfUxOE-unsplash-scaled.jpg13652048Tiffany Raveduttihttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngTiffany Ravedutti2021-10-05 09:28:402021-10-05 09:29:47Blessed Are the Merciful
In our culture, singing in public is typically left to the professionals. It’s something most people enjoy listening to, but will only attempt if they are in the car by themselves, in the shower, or singing “Happy Birthday” at a birthday party.
I get it. Singing out loud is a very vulnerable thing to do. Most of us live our lives constantly managing how we are being perceived by others at any given moment. Singing in public could — in mere moments — destroy a lifetime of managing how we want others to see us.
So why do we sing so much at church?
If you’ve grown up in church, it’s just what you’ve always done. But for those new to church, it often feels weird and can be a big barrier to moving forward in your journey exploring the claims of Christ.
The truth of why we sing so much at church is that singing is a uniting action. Here are four different ways singing unites us as followers of Christ.
1. SINGING UNITES THE HEAD AND THE HEART
Singing in church unites our theology (how we think about God) with our doxology (how we praise God). It takes truths we know about God and uses them to stir up our affections for him. When we consider who God is and what he has done for us through the person and work of Jesus Christ, it should move us emotionally and drive us to praise him. Singing is a powerful way to accomplish this. Colossians 3:16 instructs us to “let the word of Christ dwell in [us] richly… singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in [our] hearts.”
2. SINGING UNITES US WITH OTHER BELIEVERS
When we sing in church, we are joining together to confess truths we hold fast as believers in Christ. No matter what our background or social status, we stand united as the body of Christ and with one voice declare the praises of God. And while God is the primary audience for our singing, those around us are encouraged and their faith is strengthened when they hear the people of God sing the praises of God. Ephesians 5:19 exhorts us to “be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart.”
3. SINGING UNITES US WITH ALL OF CREATION
Creation worships God. It always has. Whether it’s the early morning song of birds chirping or the majestic glory of a mountain vista, the ocean’s waves roaring or the beauty of a starlit sky, all of creation is giving praise to its Creator. When we sing, we are united with the rest of creation in giving God the glory that is due his name. Isaiah 55:12, Psalm 98:7-8, and Psalm 148:3 are just a few of the places where we see creation breaking forth into song and giving praise to the Lord Almighty. In Luke 19, Jesus himself says in response to being questioned about people singing loudly about him that, “if these were silent, even the very stones would cry out.”
4. SINGING UNITES US WITH HEAVEN
When we lift up our voices here and now, we are united with a heavenly chorus that is presently singing the praises of God, joining with believers that have gone before us. Myriads upon myriads of people from every tribe, nation, and tongue (Rev. 7:9-11) have, are, and will worship the Lamb who was slain — all proclaiming glory to him who sits on the throne (Rev. 5:13) and declaring his blessing, honor, and might forever and ever!
Ultimately, it’s not the songs or our singing that unite us; it is the gospel of Jesus Christ. Singing just gives us a common way to express it all corporately as the body of Christ. When we choose to not engage with the singing portion of our corporate gatherings, we are missing out on a key component of a formative activity in the Christian life.
The next time you step into a church service and the music begins choose to engage. Sing! Be united with your spiritual family! Let the good news and gospel truths you know stir your heart and affections for our Savior. Be an encouragement to those around you. Join with all of creation and those gathered around the throne, and worship the Lord in the splendor of his glory here and now!
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/priscilla-du-preez-nhH1CAzzgj8-unsplash-scaled.jpg13652048Brad Loserhttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngBrad Loser2021-09-21 11:59:402021-09-23 14:05:334 Reasons Why You Should Sing at Church
Recently, I spent an evening with some friends. We spent hours catching up and talking about our lives, struggles, kids, work, and more. Somehow we got on the topic of friendships with other women. We all agreed that having friendships with other women is extremely important — a priority even — but we also agreed that cultivating those friendships is difficult. One friend even said she feels like it is impossible.
I left that evening a little discouraged, but it got me thinking. How can we, as Christian women, make this easier? I’ve mulled over this question and have come up with four things we can do.
1. Be Willing
With a church and community as large as ours is, it’s hard to find and connect with other women. We see them in passing, but actually forming a relationship with them seems impossible. Social anxieties, different personalities, and seasons of life just add to our isolation.
But, we need to be willing to seek out opportunities to meet other women and be willing to show up when we find those opportunities. Several times a year, Clear Creek launches multiple women’s groups. Step out of your comfort zone and join one! I’ve been in multiple small groups, but until recently I had never been in a women’s small group. It has been life-changing! I’ve enjoyed reading the Bible with other women and doing life with them!
A couple times a year, each campus hosts gatherings for the women of their campus. This is another perfect opportunity to meet other women and connect! If you’re already in a couple’s small group or if you serve in a ministry, plan a girl’s night! Find opportunities to connect with the women around you. And be persistent. You won’t always connect with the women around you on the first, second, or even third attempt. But, keep trying. We’ve already established that community is important for every single one of us, so eventually you will connect with someone. Don’t give up!
2. Be Present and Be Vulnerable
Once you do have women in your life, be present. Text them, call them, and communicate regularly. Ask questions about their life and their struggles, and, most importantly, listen without judgment. Sometimes, we just need to show up. We don’t have to say anything profound or even offer advice. We just need to be there.
Several of my friends mentioned that fear is the hardest part of making friendships with other women. Fear comes in all shapes and sizes: fear of not fitting in, fear of what others will think of you, fear of not not being perfect, fear of being left out, fear of not looking a certain way, and much more. But, instead of being fearful, we need to be vulnerable.
No one is perfect. No one. We all have flaws. We’re all sinful. Once we realize this, we can let our guard down. We no longer have to fake it and pretend that we’re perfect. We no longer have to strive. Being vulnerable leads to transparency. It leads to a place of intimacy and rest — a place where we can be fully known and fully loved. This is what true friendship looks like.
3. Be Gracious
Not only do we need to be open and honest, but we also need to gracious. We need to accept others into our circle, even if they don’t outwardly seem to fit. We need to be quick to forgive and slow to judge.
If a friend cancels on your lunch plans at the last minute, don’t take it personally; show grace. She might be dealing with some social anxieties or family responsibilities of her own. If a friend doesn’t respond to a text or call right away, show grace. She might be swamped at work or chasing 3 toddlers around. If a friend upsets you with a comment in a text or it feels like she has left you out, talk to her. She probably did not mean to hurt you. Be slow to anger and quick to forgive.
Be gracious.
4. Be Intentional
Friendships do not happen on their own. They take hard work, time, and commitment. They won’t happen without intentionality.
Make a standing appointment with your friends. Maybe it’s every other week or once monthly. You have to decide what is best for your lifestyle. But, whatever you decide, put it on the calendar each month or it won’t happen.
We’re all busy. Every month we overfill our calendars with appointments, tasks, and to-do lists, until our days are bursting at the seams. We don’t have a moment to spare. And then we look up and the month is gone and it’s time to fill up the next one. So, make plans now! Don’t wait!
My family knows I go away one weekend in the fall and one weekend in the spring with other women to a Christian women’s conference. This is a standing “appointment” — something I do every year. It’s time I get to connect with God without my daily distractions and it’s time for fellowship with other women. I return home refreshed, restored (spiritually, mentally, and physically), and in a place to love others well.
And you don’t need to feel guilty about making these plans. God designed us for community, so we shouldn’t feel guilty for living in a way that God designed.
Lastly, be the friend the woman next to you needs — the friend you need.
Sit and listen. Ask tough questions and say hard things. Most importantly, don’t just give advice. Instead, point each other back to the truths of the Bible. Point each other back to Jesus. Pray with each other. Love each other well.
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/bewakoof-com-official-mG-HdjYiPtE-unsplash-scaled.jpg13652048Donya Lawsonhttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngDonya Lawson2021-09-16 09:13:142021-09-16 09:13:46Godly Friendship (It Doesn’t Have to Be So Hard!)
Oh, the countless spelling errors Autocorrect saves us from when we haven’t had enough coffee yet and words are hard. Actually, it still comes to the rescue when we’ve had plenty of coffee and still don’t know how to put letters into words.
Autocorrect always knows whether the “i” goes before or after the “e” without hesitation. Without even using the “I before E except after C” rule!
Autocorrect even picks up our slack when we’re too lazy to capitalize our words or use apostrophes. Sure, Autocorrect isn’t the most helpful when it can’t even pick up on what we’re trying to spell, but that one is really on us for being that bad at spelling!
But the problem is Autocorrect isn’t always correct. The real issue comes in when it keeps trying to change what we truly want to say to something else entirely.
I have struggled with my own internal autocorrect. At times, I wanted to say no, but I would autocorrect to “yes.” Over time, I started to see a negative impact on my mental and physical health from continually autocorrecting to “yes.”
Saying yes to invitations or requests certainly isn’t bad, but sometimes, I was saying it for the wrong reason or with the wrong heart and wound up spreading myself too thin. I was saying yes because I feared disappointing someone or leaving them in a bind. I was saying yes because I felt like my reason to say no wasn’t adequate. I was saying yes strictly to please others.
It got to the point where it almost hurt to say no, even if I knew the reason was valid.
Then one day, with my schedule chalked full and my energy tank approaching empty, I heard something that contradicted my internal autocorrect.
“No is just as valuable of an answer as yes.”
It was like a slap across the face.
I had been told countless times before that it was okay to say no but could never fully accept it because it still seemed like a lesser answer. I was convinced that saying no would mean letting someone down.
I was more concerned about pleasing others than anything else. More than my own health. And more than my limits and boundaries.
Looking back, I think it all ultimately stemmed from my pride. I wanted affirmation and needed acceptance from those around me.
But, as the apostle Paul reminds us in Galatians 1:10, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
I had lost sight of who I was truly serving. I had lost sight of the absolute affirmation and perfect acceptance I have in Christ. I needed to shift my driving focus from pleasing people to pleasing God.
So, I finally decided to turn off my internal autocorrect and learn how to rightly and honestly respond with yes and no. I learned how to stop saying yes for people and start saying yes for God.
For example, a few months ago, someone asked me if I could disciple them through the summer. First, I prayed about it. I looked at my schedule. And then, I said yes. Not to please this person, but to serve and please the Lord.
Then a couple weeks later, I was asked to speak at one of the college gatherings. I did a heart check, prayed about it, and said yes. Again, not to please man, but to hopefully bring more honor and glory to God.
Amongst these opportunities, I also felt the freedom to say no. I’ve learned to believe that no is a valuable answer, but also not a crutch to lean on just because my comfort zone is challenged.
When asked if I could make a dessert for the student navigators going to camp, I politely declined because I recognized my limits and knew that would be one too many things on my plate that week.
Recently, a friend asked me if I wanted to have a girl’s night, and I technically could, but already didn’t have much time with my husband that week because of our busy schedules. So instead, I asked if we could do it the next week.
These may seem like simple examples, but it’s simple moments and choices like these that reveal our hearts, and I want my words and my heart to always be set to please God.
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in your sight,
O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.
– Psalm 19:14
I still have to keep myself in check and make sure my pride hasn’t turned my internal autocorrect back on, but with the help of the Spirit, my responses to things are more and more devoted to pleasing God, not people.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still thankful for my dear friend, Autocorrect. But I think I’ll keep it on my phone and not in my head.
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/lili-kovac-IMpmnH2IC98-unsplash-scaled.jpg13652048Kate Mendozahttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngKate Mendoza2021-09-08 15:48:462024-02-14 15:36:33Yes and No: Living for Christ
The sun is peaking up over the trees and you can still see the morning mist as the dragonflies dance their way through the air.
It’s quiet save for the birds calling back and forth to one another.
The earth almost feels like it’s stretching its arms out and rubbing its eyes with hope of a new fresh day. I am a spectator with my coffee cup in hand.
I’m not on vacation. I’m just in my backyard. Because a while ago, I had to make a choice to start my days differently.
Don’t get me wrong I love a great vacation getaway. There’s not much better than sitting on a beach in Mexico on the third straight day of doing absolutely nothing but reading and relaxing.
But we all know that isn’t a sustainable reality. It always turns out that life awaits us back at home.
If we pattern our lives to burn hot, run hard, sleep less, and work more until we get those three or four days of relief, we just won’t make it.
We must create space in the rhythm of our lives to slow down, because life won’t do it on its own.
I feel the gravity of all of the responsibilities that are coming my way afresh each morning.
I live and die by a to-do list that keeps me on track.
And if I don’t start my day off with some silence, it would be like heading out on a run as soon as I’ve finished lacing my shoes! I have to stretch first. I have to warm up my muscles.
To face each day, I have to warm up my heart, my mind, and my soul.
These intentional moments of quiet are a countercultural enigma that have lost their place in the rhythm of our culture.
I realized I needed it. But in the busyness of life – the necessary demands of being a husband, a full-time member of a church staff, and a father of seven kids — I didn’t set the bar too high. I just decided to leave myself the first moments of each day.
I wish my daily view was a white sand beach, but my regular place of solace and solitude is my backyard.
Even if you had the means you couldn’t fly to the mountains every morning, So you have to carve out a little space that’s readily available and easily accessible. My wife and I have spent meticulous time to create a space that just oozes peacefulness.
So, every day I start with a cup of coffee and without a phone. I allow myself a notebook in case I get a song idea, a prayer, or a story, but it’s intended to be a space to unplug. It definitely makes the parenting world more manageable before I take that deep breath and walk back inside.
As Christians we pattern our lives to be “like Christ,” and to do so we look at how he lived.
In Luke 5:15-16 we see this rhythm of solitude in Jesus’s life. At this point in Luke’s account, Jesus had been doing those things only he could do, and there was a growing buzz in the area about him. He could have easily run harder into his work, leading his disciples and new followers, but verse 16 says, “But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray.”
Jesus could have kept healing and teaching, but he knew he needed the encouragement, the rest, and the renewal from the Father that happens in those quiet moments. And if we make time for them, we will see the same things.
But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray.
— Luke 5:16
There have been songs that we sing at church that have taken root in those early morning moments of quiet.
One morning about a month ago, God brought to mind an old college friend of mine. I called him up and it so happened that he had just had to check his spouse into a facility because of suicidal thoughts. We spoke on the phone for about two hours, after we hadn’t spoken in 20 years. We laughed a little, we cried a lot, and we picked up where we’d left off.
God also uses these quiet times to show me my own blind spots. If I didn’t set that moment aside I would walk immediately into the white noise and static that fills my day, and never stop to think, or to talk to God about what was going on in my own heart and mind.
So maybe just take one step that way. It doesn’t need to be a yearlong vow of silence. Just lean in the direction of God and give him your first breaths.
This is our mid-week opportunity to stay connected online with our pastors to receive mid-week scriptural encouragement, prayer, and updates on how we are responding to the COVID-19 Pandemic.
To find out more information about our church, go to www.clearcreek.org.
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This is our mid-week opportunity to stay connected online with our pastors to receive mid-week scriptural encouragement, prayer, and updates on how we are responding to the COVID-19 Pandemic.
To find out more information about our church, go to www.clearcreek.org.
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This is our mid-week opportunity to stay connected online with our pastors to receive mid-week scriptural encouragement, prayer, and updates on how we are responding to the COVID-19 Pandemic.
To find out more information about our church, go to www.clearcreek.org.
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“The thing is, even when volunteering doesn’t end up being the perfect fit, it is still a gift to serve Jesus and his people in any way. God is always, always, faithful to us when we walk through doors he opens.”
As told by Rachel Chester
Once upon a time I went to law school.
I had always known that this was the plan; this is what I was going to do. I really liked law school. I did well, and so I was recruited by some big law firms who offered some big salaries.
When I actually started practicing law, however, I realized that aptitude and vocation aren’t necessarily the same. I just didn’t feel like I was a part of something that matters. Eventually, I walked away from my legal job and decided to reevaluate my career path while my husband and I started our family.
A couple of years later, while staying home with my kids, I increasingly felt God was calling me into ministry. That felt strange to say, and sometimes still does. After all, what does that even mean? How did I know? Well, I didn’t have a lot of answers. All I knew was that the church, the body of Christ, and theology was all I thought about.
But, I am a woman, and honestly, I didn’t know what the possibilities were. I was not looking to become the next Beth Moore (as if I could), and outside of that, I didn’t know what it meant to be a woman and be in ministry.
So when I heard Bruce talking about developing a marriage and family ministry with counselors, I immediately thought, This! This is something I can do! This is a way to love and serve people and use the gifts God has given me for something that really matters.
I applied and began taking classes at Dallas Theological Seminary in the biblical counseling department. I loved every second of it. I loved learning more about theology and counseling, but the thought of actually getting my license and counseling clients all day began to make me nervous.
All the time I was surer of God’s call to be in ministry, but less sure of what exactly that was supposed to look like. The closer I got to finishing, the more frustrating this became. The truth was, I just wasn’t sure I would be good at counseling, despite my belief in the importance of Christian counseling and the insights the program was teaching me.
About a year ago, I asked one of our pastors to help me think through what ministry could look like for me. And, boy, did he! He made me list my gifts and strengths on his whiteboard and then sat down with me to discuss what this meant I should pursue. While we were talking, he described a position the church might need someone for eventually: a person who would manage content that the church was putting out. For instance, every article someone wrote for the church would go through this person. I honestly remember thinking, I hope he’s not looking at me right now because that seriously sounds like the worst. I don’t want to manage anything, but definitely not documents other people are putting together. Yuck, boring, and no. He moved on quickly and I forgot about it. It was a generous, intentional conversation and I was grateful for his time.
I thought that was that.
But it was just the beginning.
A couple of days later, I got an email from another one of our pastors saying he’d heard I might be interested in volunteering and that he had some ideas of how I could help.
So, I went in to meet with him, and he talked to me about this new ministry they were kicking off called Clear Creek Resources. Their hope was to have different types of resources available so that church at Clear Creek was more than just a conversation on Sunday; it would be a conversation that continued throughout the entire week and involved current events, deeper theological dives, marriage, family, devotionals – every aspect of our lives!
He said he needed help getting articles and podcasts going. It still seemed like a weird fit for me, more like organization (which I am terrible at), but, I said I would give it a try. I had decided a few years ago that when God opened a door, I would walk through it, regardless of whether I felt equipped for that particular door or not.
So, I did.
I did the best I could to generate ideas for podcasts and articles, to find people around the church who would lend their gifts, expertise, and stories for the benefit of the church, and to think of new ways to serve our church through this ministry. I wrote a few articles myself and was convinced to start hosting podcasts too, despite my hesitation.
It turns out, the door God opened was a really great fit. It was not easy immediately. It took patience and humility and second starts, but soon enough I realized that God had known where I was going even when I felt like I was walking blind.
So much of how God created me, the gifts he has given me, the experiences of my life, even my varied education, have equipped me for this particular ministry. Clear Creek Resources is everything I am passionate about: celebrating the beautiful diversity of Jesus’s church, collaboration and relationship between devoted believers, deep discipleship that affects every aspect of life, and compelling engagement with the world in the name of Jesus. I love that I get to work with so many people, I love encouraging others to use their gifts, and I love being a small part of something that builds the kingdom of Jesus.
I’m still learning. I’m still trying to find my way as I serve my family and our King. But serving in Clear Creek Resources is a great gift and I’m so glad I said “yes.” I am grateful to be part of this team, and even more, I am grateful for God’s abundant personal care and faithfulness in my life.
The thing is, even when volunteering doesn’t end up being the perfect fit, it is still a gift to serve Jesus and his people in any way. God is always, always, faithful to us when we walk through doors he opens.
I also serve in First Impressions – I have for many years now – and it still is not a perfect fit for me. I get nervous about meeting strangers, I’m not great at remembering names, and I’m pretty introverted. But, the people I serve with are great friends – family even – whom I treasure walking through life with. I love serving with them, and I also love that I get to see every person’s face who walks in the door to worship.
The fact that I’m not necessarily great at it?
Well, it’s just a reminder that God’s strength is made perfect in my weakness; that when I surrender to him and serve despite my shortcomings, he will use my meager offerings for his glory and the good of others, because of who he is, not because of who I am.
That’s what serving really is at the end of the day: an opportunity. An opportunity to play a small role in what he is doing; to surrender to him and then watch him work; where everything, our gifts and our weakness, are used as part of his great story.
God uses us all in different ways.
How can God use you to serve in the church?
Go to https://www.clearcreek.org/next-steps/serve/ to check out all of the serving opportunities.
You can also follow @clearcreekresources on Facebook and Instagram!
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/maxresdefault.jpg7201280Clear Creek Resourceshttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngClear Creek Resources2021-03-12 10:40:362021-03-29 11:00:32Serving in the Church: The Rachel Chester Story
“As I look back on who I used to be, which was angry and judgmental, selfish, and just harsh with everybody, I’m just amazed at how much God’s grown me.” – Jonathan Newport
This was a part of our online service at of Clear Creek Community Church.
For more ways to participate in our online service in this season, go to www.clearcreek.org.
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Easter 2020 will be an Easter we never forget. For most of us, we’ll remember the Coronavirus, the stay at home orders, and church buildings being closed. But for the Larson family, Easter 2020 will be remembered for a much bigger reason.
Cameron Larson, a teenager in the student ministry at the East 96 Campus, had recently come to saving faith in Jesus and been considering baptism for some time. Easter Sunday was going to be the day. His parents Craig and Kari had planned to help celebrate Cameron’s commitment at a friend’s pool. The plan was to have a small party with Cameron’s student small group and Craig and Kari’s adult small group in attendance. But because of COVID-19, the party was no longer possible. Instead, people attended via Facetime and Zoom calls to witness this public demonstration of Cameron’s saving faith in Jesus.
But one person who was able to be physically present was Cameron’s grandfather, Frank.
Frank hadn’t grown up with faith in Jesus. He attended church on occasion, mainly holidays. Five years ago, after his son Craig was baptized, Frank began to explore faith in Jesus at his own pace, asking Craig and Kari questions.
In September of 2019, Frank was diagnosed with prostate cancer. This February, he got news that the cancer had spread… the prognosis was not good.
Frank struggled to have hope in the midst of his battle with cancer, but in God’s grace, Frank began to find glimmers of hope in Jesus. Frank believed Jesus was the only one who could save him and rescue him – not just physically, but spiritually. Since that realization, Frank said, “peace has washed over me.”
So, on Easter Sunday 2020, as the family was preparing to celebrate Cameron’s baptism and proclamation of his faith in Jesus, Frank turned to his son Craig at the kitchen table and said, “I’m ready to have the Lord in my life.”
Craig waded into the pool that afternoon with his teenage son Cameron, and his cancer-fighting father. Craig dipped Cameron below the surface of the water and brought him up again, and then did the same to his dad.
Now, Frank continues to hope for his body in his battle against cancer, but he rests in the eternal hope he has for his soul.
‘Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
2 Corinthians 5:17
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Meredith Harris once sold a gift-products line called Thirty-One to a house full of laughing women. The events were always upbeat, and Meredith delighted in hosting her friends for a light evening of fun.
After one such event, Meredith was packing up and talking with an acquaintance, Allison Swenson. The two were shooting the breeze when Allison abruptly changed the direction of the conversation.
“Allison said, ‘I haven’t really shared this with anyone, but I just had a miscarriage,’” Meredith recalled. “I remember feeling very special that [she] would share that with me. That just fast-forwarded the depth of our friendship because [she] had shared something that was very painful.”
Meredith and Allison both recognize that conversation over a decade ago as the first of many times each would walk the other through loss.
“Allison and I’s friendship is very intertwined with grief,” said Meredith.
Allison Swenson with her husband, Brad, and their two sons, Bradley and Cole.
“So, several years ago,” said Allison, “I started a pregnancy journey that began with a miscarriage and then two live births. One little guy lived for 30 minutes and the other little guy lived for 20 days.”
Allison, her husband, Brad, and their two young sons have experienced other losses, as well. Hurricane Harvey devastated their home, and, most recently, Allison’s father passed away.
Meredith’s grief journey began as one grieving alongside her friends.
“My journey [began by] walking with friends who lost two of their children to unforeseen heart issues within one year,” she said. She then walked alongside her friend Allison as she grieved the losses of her two children.
“And then my seemingly very healthy brother died unexpectedly of a cardiac event when he happened to be at our lake house,” Meredith said. Her only brother, Bill, left behind his wife, pregnant with their second child, and a very young son.
As these two friends have journeyed through their own losses, those of each other, and other friends, they have gained unique perspectives on navigating friendships and loss and how to hold steadfast to their faith through grief. They have waded into the challenging and overwhelming waters of grief and come out stronger.
From left to right: Denise Ward (Meredith’s mom), Meredith, Brad and daughters, Amy Ward holding son, Bill Ward (Meredith’s brother), Dave Ward (her father).
On being the best friend you can be
Both Meredith and Allison noted the many ways friends cared for them in their grief. One friend who loved fashion hand-selected outfits for different occasions Meredith would need to attend. Allison recalled how, while she was on hospital bedrest, Meredith and another friend “drove inside the loop” every week to inject much-needed laughter in dark times. There were friends who delivered groceries and friends who cleaned their houses, only asking that they leave the door unlocked.
And it’s here that they have advice for the person grieving: allow your friends to serve you. And to the friend: serve the way you feel led, not how you think it should look.
“We cannot put our friends in a box of one way to love and care for us,” said Allison. “Allowing my friends to serve me and love me in their gift sets is really valuable.”
As Meredith grieved the loss of her brother, she saw that sustaining friendship with a grieving person equates to simply being present. Meredith’s parents’ house became the hub for visitors, family staying over from out of town, and gatherings. People brought food to their home for over a month, so they kept an ice chest on the front porch for deliveries. One friend stopped by to put fresh ice in the chest every day for a month.
“It was just the most wonderful [thing],” she said. “No words were used, but it communicated, ‘I love you. I thought about you. I took care of a need today.’”
Ultimately, those acts of service done by people uniquely created by God to serve in specific ways helped Allison and Meredith, in their respective situations, grieve well, and it displayed the body of Christ in action.
“If you have that calling and feel truly led, just go do it!” said Allison. “Send the card, go to the funeral, make the phone call, drop toilet paper on the front stoop… because when those things don’t happen, that’s when you feel alone, lost, and forgotten.”
Meredith added that, as a friend, your duty is to “say with your words, ‘God has not left you’ and then communicate with your life that you have not left that person either.”
In the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, Allison and her husband were not able to get back to their home in the first few days and had to allow friends to begin the process of gutting their home and removing their possessions to curb the growth of mold.
“During Harvey,” recalled Allison, “that’s what I felt like the Lord was screaming at me: ‘You are known, you belong, and you are okay.’ And that overshadowed every single thing we lost. Everything was out on our front lawn, but people were waiting there for us to drive up.”
On how to love a close friend who is grieving
Meredith and Allison both talked about a deeper kind of friendship — “safe” friends who allowed them to be honest. These were the life-giving friendships that helped them to walk in a healthy place as they grieved. The sometimes difficult part was discovering that not all of their friends were able to give this kind of friendship.
“For me it’s just trust,” said Allison. “Without that trust, I would not be vulnerable. Vulnerability in grief and trauma is important because I need to feel safe, loved, heard, and seen in my most raw state… Having permission to be true and unashamed and allow myself to feel in front of someone else is life changing.”
Brad and Meredith Harris, and their two daughters Charlotte and Camille.
Meredith added that she began to clearly see a distinction between “people that can handle deep pain with you and people that are not ready or have not personally experienced any deep pain.” The latter, she says, “still want to keep [deep pain] at an arm’s distance.”
“And you have no choice when you are in the pit of grief other than to be really raw,” Meredith continued. “And so if there are people that cannot enter in with you — and that just looks like sitting with you and letting you snot cry — if they can’t handle that, it’s almost a natural thing. They kind of just stay away because it’s too much for them.”
Meredith came very close to being stunted by her fear of dealing with a friend’s immense grief. When she and her husband, Brad, arrived at a hospital to be with their friends whose son had been rushed to the ER after collapsing at soccer practice, they arrived at a scene that turned out to be much more complex and difficult than they had imagined.
“We walk up to the hospital doors and [our friend’s father] comes out screaming to God, not screaming at God, but in a fearful way,” Meredith recalled. “And then I stopped dead in my tracks, and I said ‘I can’t do this.’ Brad had his hand on my back and said, ‘You don’t have a choice.’ And he lightly shoved me, like we’re gonna do this together.’”
Meredith looks back on that as a defining moment for the kind of friend God calls all believers to be: one who wades into the waters of grief alongside their friend.
“God calls you to go,” said Meredith. “To make the phone call. To show up at their door. To be uncomfortable.”
On pointing a grieving friend to God’s truth
Staying connected with biblical truth is absolutely essential for a grieving person, and they need friends grounded in the truth of God to help them navigate their grief.
“Before it gets to that point [of tragedy], I would encourage people to be known,” said Allison. She emphasized the importance of being connected in community no matter what is going on in your life “so when something happens you can allow yourself to be counseled.”
“You know [the truth] in your head, but there’s this incredible disconnect with your heart,” said Allison. “What’s in your head keeps you grounded. Staying connected, pursuing community, pursuing truth always – every day – can prepare us for this life-altering moment.”
Meredith agreed, “Being immersed in the truth in everyday life prior to the grief is really key. If you have this beautiful foundation when things are pretty peaceful and have this steady peace in your life… [you remember] the God who loved me in a steady time has not left me now.”
From left to right (standing): Lindsey Lehtinen, Meredith Harris, Allison Swenson, Brigette Swafford. From left to right (seated/crouching): Nicole Haas, Erin Funke, Christie Frodge, Laura Sherman.
This concept can sometimes be fleeting, even for seasoned believers, when faced with tragedy.
“I have one brother. We both love Jesus and are in the middle of actively trying to serve God. And God just takes him,” said Meredith. “I think there is something in us that thinks that there are some things that are off limits.”
“So you need people who are brave enough to tell you ‘That’s not true’,” said Allison. “There are so many people going through really hard things and won’t allow themselves to be vulnerable or people to know how they’re really doing. I just want to encourage that pursuit of finding that person [or] people… and not to give up when you get burned.”
These are the friends that offer a lighthouse of guidance when those around them cannot find their way.
On finding strength in grief
As Meredith and Allison have allowed God to heal them over time and allowed friends and family to speak God’s truth into their lives through serving them, they have both recognized a subtle change in the way they approach life, faith, and others.
And that is a work of God.
“I thought I cared well for people before Bill died, but once I experienced it for myself, I [realized] I had no idea what they were truly feeling,” said Meredith. “I wanted to care for them, but relishing in their pain with them — I had no clue.”
Carrying the burden of another’s pain might seem weak or problematic, but it is actually a source of strength. It is a quiet strength, they now see, but it has emboldened their faith.
“Strong is not defined by ‘I don’t hurt or have pain,’” said Allison. “Strength is not defined by how many tasks I get done or whether I can push my emotions aside. If you can survive, if you can stay present for your family, I think there’s strength in that. I think there’s strength in staying married in grief, staying in friendships, getting out of the house. All of those things are strong.”
Ultimately, only God has provided the strength Allison and Meredith have needed to endure the overbearing storms of grief.
“Strength is continuing to have hope”, said Meredith. “I haven’t lost hope. Being rooted in hope — that’s where I have found my strength. And I have learned so much about God’s sustaining power in this. Less miraculous, flashy Jesus and more the steady hand of the Holy Spirit. He is preventing me from feeling crushed. I am broken, but I am not crushed.”
Allison also felt God’s miraculous work in her life to bring her peace in the midst of devastation.
“The closest I have felt to the Holy Spirit,” said Allison, “was washing [my son] William after he had passed and dressing him. And I long to feel that connection that I felt in that moment. I should remember that as one of the most devastating moments of my life, but I remember it as this beautiful peace that I have not felt again. I think that’s the miraculous part.”
On their friendship
These two women have endured much devastation and loss in the first decade of their friendship. But they count all of it toward setting a firm foundation that they’ve relied upon for safety, accountability, and truth in their darkest days.
“Allison was one of the only people I shared the depths of how ugly it really got,” said Meredith. “I was really transparent with her, and she could totally handle it. She was not freaked out by what I said. She validated my feelings, but then pointed me to truth.”
Allison agreed. “We don’t pull any punches. We can speak some pretty deep truth and trust that it’s okay.”
This is what Allison and Meredith believe is the most needed type of friend when you are going through the worst experience of your life. One who is present. One who will hold steady. And one who will point you to the only one who can truly offer hope and healing in the midst of the storms of life.
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“I felt like I was entering a darkness I couldn’t get out of. I’ve been in a cave before where they turn the lights out on you and you can’t see your hand in front of your face. It’s so black.
“That’s where I felt spiritually.”
* * *
Marilyn Hester’s bracelets clicked together musically as she spoke, adding expression and emphasis to her story with each hand gesture. Her bright voice, quick movements, big laugh, and sharp tongue suggested she was much younger than 76. And the joy in her smile did not convey the grief she still carried.
Marilyn became a Christian over 40 years ago. To her, God had always been her “best friend, confidant, counselor, everything.”
“He is everything to me,” she said. “I’ve always talked to him. I always had a relationship with him from the moment he revealed himself to me. He created that… He gave me an understanding of his word and the ability to remember it. And I have learning problems!”
Marilyn struggles with dyslexia and attention deficit disorder. As a new believer, Marilyn asked God to help her remember Scripture, and he did. “The word came to life for me; it meant something to me,” she said. “He brought it to life as being real and truth… What’s in here,” she said, pointing to her head, “he pulls out for his purpose. He brings his word to my remembrance.”
Over the years, Marilyn realized she was gifted in remembering and using God’s words in conversations, in speaking to groups of women, in teaching, and in her fervent prayers throughout each day for her loved ones. When her husband, Ed, endured open-heart surgery and almost died, she prayed until he was well again.
And when her daughter, Kim, was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer of the tongue at age 42, she planned on doing the same thing.
Around six months into her diagnosis, Kim left an abusive relationship to move in with her parents again. It was a changing of the guard at the Hester home. Their middle daughter, Carrie, who suffers from muscular dystrophy and mental retardation, had lived with Marilyn and Ed most of her life, but was on her way out of her home for surgery and rehab. Kim returned, needing her parents’ help and care once again.
But the cancer spread rapidly, weakening Kim’s body and mind with every treatment and setback.
“Kim’s suffering was before my face every minute of every day,” recalled Marilyn. “That was more than I could bear — to see her in that kind of pain. Deep, deep, deep down, I knew she wasn’t going to make it. But I kept praying and putting [God’s] word before him.”
Just over a year into her diagnosis, Kim Hester entered the hospital for the last time. She was given just days to live, and the family was told to make final plans.
“I thought we had more time,” said Marilyn.
[Marilyn (right) with her daughter, Kim.]
“When it was time, she was just gone like a vapor,” Marilyn said with a snap of her fingers. “She took a breath and didn’t exhale. There was no struggle. There was no pain. There was no anxiety.”
Marilyn was able to take some comfort in knowing that Kim was a Christian. She believed Kim died and was immediately in the presence of Jesus. The peace of that certainty was real. But the pain of her loss was overwhelming.
“I could be in the store and would see a pair of shorts — and she loved shorts — and it would bring back memories of when she was a kid and all that, and I would have to go to the car and cry,” said Marilyn.
“The pain was horrible. It was a physical pain, and I wept deeper than I’ve ever wept in my life… It would just erupt like a volcano, and then it was over. That was at the very beginning.”
Then, still in those early days of the grieving process, Marilyn and Ed were thrown a curveball when they were made fully aware of the living conditions of their other daughter. Carrie lived in a group home which meant that Ed and Marilyn had little legal say over what happened to her there. They were beholden to the caregiver who ran the group home, but they discovered she was not taking proper care of Carrie nor was she regarding Carrie’s grief over the loss of her sister. Marilyn’s hands were tied because she and Ed had no way to properly care for her on their own, and this affected her deeply.
“I really felt like I had no more kids,” Marilyn said. “My son worked all the time and lived across town and pulled himself away from us… And I’d lost Kim. And now I’d lost Carrie. So, I began to feel like I had three children and now I had none. It took away my identity. It made me feel like I wasn’t a mother.”
“I began to realize I had put my identity and worth into how my children turned out, or how much influence I had in their lives, and then they’re gone,” she said. “So where’s my identity? Who am I? It was just another thing that was pushing me down into this quicksand of darkness, deep darkness. Because I felt like I was worth nothing.”
At some point, Marilyn’s daily time set aside to read the Bible and pray began to take a discreet turn. “I would read his word and think Okay, well you had the power to heal her but you didn’t do it. I began to center on what I wanted for Kim more than what [God] wanted for her.”
Slowly, Marilyn’s thoughts toward her beloved Lord began to change and lies took root in her mind.
“You see the pain of the memory, and then behind it is this little thinking… And you fight it for a while. It’s like [Satan] tickles your ears with a lie and truth and together they become truth to you. And you just listen. And you don’t even know you’re doing it, but you begin to believe that God was not there for you.”
Often, the lies came in the form of seemingly benign questions, like Did God really love Kim?
She began to question God and then believe things like, “God doesn’t love you God left Kim. God left you. God doesn’t care. You can’t trust his word.”
“It was like little bitty tiny bites into my heart and mind,” recalled Marilyn. “And I began to listen and think you’re right, you’re right, you’re right.”
[Kim (left) with Marylin (right).]
Finally, after a long day of trying unsuccessfully to find a new home for Carrie, Marilyn had had enough. She sent her husband into the house and stayed in the car to let God know exactly what she thought.
“I was so incredibly involved in the grief that I was not pouring it out to [God],” she said. “It was like a volcano erupting. I couldn’t control the crying. I couldn’t control the words coming out of my mouth… I was more honest with him than I think I’d ever been.”
In the midst of this crying out, Marilyn sensed a brokenness between herself and God that she had never before experienced. “I was like a broken vessel,” she said. “And in that, he just sat there and listened. He never made me feel like he was angry with me, like he would leave me. I knew he was there. But he was so quiet. And I needed him to talk to me!”
“Very slowly I pulled away [from God] until there was nothing,” said Marilyn. “There was no comfort. There was nothing… I quit talking to him. We didn’t have anything to say to each other any more.”
* * *
Give ear to my prayer, O God,
and hide not yourself from my plea for mercy!
Attend to me and answer me…
Some time later, Marilyn awoke one morning and decided to open her Bible, something she had not done in a while. She thought, “I’m going to open his word. It’s not going to mean anything anymore but I’m just going to read it.” Scripture was no longer bringing her “any comfort,” so she had set it aside. But on that morning, something prodded her to open God’s word.
As Marilyn opened to Psalm 55, she read words penned as a lament of David. The words were familiar, not only to her mind but also to her heart. She understood the anguish David experienced. She continued reading.
…I am restless in my complaint and I moan,
because of the noise of the enemy,
because of the oppression of the wicked…
My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death have fallen upon me.
It reminded her of something from her childhood.
“I would have these nightmares all the time that someone was trying to kill me,” recalled Marilyn. “I remember thinking that I was going to die in the dream.”
Fear and trembling come upon me,
and horror overwhelms me.
“Before this person trying to kill me could touch me, I would just be lifted up above the whole thing, and I would fly,” Marilyn said. “And the ability to fly as a child just blew me away, and there was a peace. I could see the guy running after me, but he couldn’t get to me. I would soar like a bird above all of the danger and was perfectly safe in this one place. I felt at home.”
And I say, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest…”
When she read those lines, something shifted within her. “No longer was it David… it was me,” she said. “It was like God took me back to the dream and said ‘I delivered you then. I deliver you now.’”
All at once, the memory of her childhood dream and the circumstances of her present moment collided as she read those verses, and the darkness within her broke.
“That was God when I was a little girl!” she recalled. “Oh my God, that was God! He really does care!”
“He knew me as a child,” she said. “He delivered me from my nightmares with his own peace. The word that he showed me… was the same thing that happened in that nightmare, and he delivered me. He knew me then, and he knows me now.”
* * *
Marilyn marks that moment as the time where the deep darkness left and never returned.
“I felt like I was trying to lift myself out of [the depression], and God did it,” she said. “He did for me what I could not do for myself.”
[Marylin (right) holding Kim.]
As she looks back on the darkest days, and how God pulled her up out of the pit, she thinks the experience was “about needing [God] more than it was about needing him to do something for me.”
“I missed him more than I missed my own daughter,” she said. “I missed that relationship we had before. It was a walking, talking, living relationship.”
Marilyn knows now that walking away from God was the worst thing she could have done in her grief.
She has learned a few things.
“Go to the Lord with the suffering, and be honest with him. Don’t hold anything back… If you’re just grieving and stepping away from God and not letting him heal [you], then it’s more painful because you don’t have the power to heal you.”
Marilyn still grieves, but it’s different now.
“We’re closer,” she says. “I think what God wants to do with walking through the grief process is to fill that emptiness with himself. And it takes time. Still the pain of it is there… but it’s different than it was before. It truly feels like grief; it doesn’t feel like blackness.”
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“Growing up, I had a really rough childhood, the type that comes up in the news,” Erin Contreras said. “I mean, I went to 23 different elementary schools, so there was no stability or time to go to church.”
Even with so many variables in her life, Erin always felt the presence of someone there for her. She believed in God even though no one in her family was guiding her.
“[He was] who I called out to in my times of need,” Erin said.
When Erin met her husband, Eli, her thoughts of God faded into the background. Although Eli grew up with a really religious background, Erin didn’t have a foundation that stuck. In 2007, a coworker invited Erin and Eli to attend Clear Creek Community Church. Eli, with his strict traditional religious background, was skeptical upon seeing “a bunch of hippies” in jeans and flip flops, but ultimately they decided to regularly attend Sunday morning services.
“We didn’t have any community,” Erin said about their early experience at Clear Creek. “It was a very transactional relationship. We went, we punched our card, and we left.”
Just before the Conteras’ second son was born, Erin was involved in a traumatic home invasion where the intruder tried to kill her and kidnap her oldest son while she was nearly 9 months pregnant. The only reason she was able to escape at the time was because the intruder thought she was dead already.
“It just left me so broken… with such bad PTSD,” Erin said. “I had Max two weeks later and, after that incident, our marriage just fell apart.”
With the ensuing depression Erin experienced, the foundation she and Eli had as a married couple crumbled. On top of that, Eli lost his job.
“The depression cut me so deep. I lost sense of reality. I lost sense of who I was,” Erin said. “We stopped going to church because… I just felt abandoned [by God].”
After the incident, Erin sought relief from her trauma and depression through medication and therapy, but she often felt alone. It seemed impossible to find other people who could identify with what she had been through.
“There weren’t any support groups for ‘Housewives of PTSD’” Erin recalled. “Either you’re a soldier [struggling with PTSD] or you don’t have it.” She had no one else in her circles who could relate to her experience. As a couple, Erin and Eli were never comfortable talking about Erin’s feelings or how her therapy was going.
“All Eli ever wanted to know was how I was doing because he just loved me so much,” Erin said. “But I could not talk about it at all. I would become too emotional, and it was too much for me… I just held it all in, and it was like a cancer.”
No longer trusting God, Erin isolated with her kids, wrapping them up in her self-protective armor. But, Eli’s response to the home invasion was the complete opposite.
“My husband, in that tragedy, found faith and I lost it,” Erin said. “He saw that somebody was there – somebody kept me alive.”
Erin and Eli continued to struggle, leading them to separate and no longer communicate with one another. They were headed towards divorce at full speed.
“We didn’t have family support. We weren’t in a small group. So that was just the path we were going down,” Erin said. “But my husband, out of desperation, started going to church again because he didn’t know what else to do.”
This time, Eli took a step in faith and joined a men’s small group. When the men would pray at the end of every group, Eli would ask for prayer for his marriage and prayer for his wife.
“At that time, I wanted nothing to do with him,” Erin said. “But Eli kept going to small group and prayed for us.” Erin freely admits that it would have been easier for Eli to just leave her completely. But Eli’s small group encouraged him to love his wife, even at her worst. Toward the end of the life cycle of the small group, Eli was ready to get baptized.
Erin finally agreed, and at Eli’s baptism, she met his small group.
“I saw that they were all married men,” Erin said. “And it broke my heart because I saw how happy all those married couples were, and I knew that they knew my story. I knew they knew what I was going through.”
Shortly after Eli’s baptism, he asked Erin, “What do you think about maybe coming to church with me on Sunday?”
Despite her fears of something happening her kids, she took a step.
About a month later the Contreras were still going to church together every Sunday. Erin and Eli had talked about moving back in together, and six months later, they were living together again. When another GroupLink happened, Eli suggested they join a small group for married couples.
“I was like, ‘I do not want to be in a married group. First of all, we’re barely married at this point. We just started living together and… the last thing I want is some hypocritical Christian telling me what I should be doing in my marriage.”
But Erin eventually agreed because she wanted to find some sort of hobby to do with her husband, though they drove separately to group each week.
“I didn’t want to go there to make friends,” Erin said. “I [didn’t] need churchy people in my life.” Within the first few meetings, the group members were already sharing their backgrounds and stories, and when it came time for Erin to speak, she was frank.
“I was like, ‘Basically, I’m not here for you guys. I don’t want any part of this. I’m just here for [Eli].”
Erin calls it “probably the worst introduction that anybody’s ever had,” but she didn’t think her life and marriage were anybody else’s business. But, she found that the group members were willing to receive her exactly where she was at.
After a while, Erin and Eli started riding to small group in a car together, which turned out to be catalytic for their marriage.
“I never thought the car ride would be the biggest thing, but it’s really where he and I became husband and wife again.”
They would talk about their thoughts on the current small group study, and it was the first chance in a long time to connect with one another about something deep. In those moments, without their kids and without distractions, Erin and Eli began to develop a friendship again.
“It just opened up a narrative… where we couldn’t before talk about how we were doing,” Erin said. “It got to the point where we’d get home, and we wouldn’t get out of the car. We’d just sit in the car and talk more for another 15 or 20 minutes. And so, I really think that those car rides were the most special time we’ve ever had.”
After going to small group for about a year-and-a-half, Erin got severely sick one summer and had to endure seven surgeries within a single summer. It was during this time that Erin’s perception of small group took a dramatic shift.
“They just really poured into my family,” Erin said about her group members. “They brought us meals. They checked on me daily. They would check in after every surgery asking, ‘Do you need help with this? Do you need us just to run to the grocery store? What can we do for you?’”
The Contreras’ small group community intimately entered their lives during one of the most critical times for their family.
“I had never experienced anything like this,” she said. “Even when I had both of my kids, it was just me… alone. There was nobody who came over. There was nobody who brought meals… It was a shift. I belonged.”
Something about this love in action softened her heart. Air rushed back into her lungs. She still wouldn’t describe herself as a believer at that time but just going with the flow. Then one day, something that Eli and her Navigator had both said just clicked.
If God wasn’t there, then why are you angry at him?
“I was angry because I felt abandoned,” Erin said. “Eli had tried to tell me this many times. He would say, ‘Well, how can you feel abandoned by somebody that was never there to begin with?’
It finally made sense to Erin. You can’t be mad at somebody who isn’t there.
“I mean, if I’m angry at somebody then obviously there’s somebody in my heart that’s always been there… that’s when I really started believing.”
Erin got baptized in March 2018.
“[My baptism] was just another moment where I was like, ‘I’m still doing life with these people. These people are still pouring into me. They’re still here for my children. For my husband. And it was a really beautiful thing to have my community with me.”
Another part of her recovery has to do with her current job opportunity where she teaches music at a Classical School. She has the privilege of talking about God’s beauty every day.
“My whole job is to point out what is true, good, and beautiful in this world and how that all points back to God,” Erin said. “And not being a believer, I wouldn’t have the job that I have. I wouldn’t be able to form these little lives or these connections with these kids.”
Three months after Erin’s baptism, she took a huge next step by starting to serve in the music ministry at Clear Creek. Once someone who slipped in under the balcony and out before the end of the last song, Erin now uses her gifts to play the keyboard and sing on stage.
“You have to be so vulnerable to be on stage worshiping because you’re not just putting on a show for everybody. You’re worshipping withthem.” And each time she serves, she thinks about the people who might be sitting under the balcony.
“Music is one of those things that engages everybody,” Erin said. “So I always pray before I go on stage, Use our music to touch somebody. Open somebody up.”
Erin found, and continues to find, places where her true passion and talent can encourage others to align their hearts in worship, no matter what their own circumstances might be.
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I grew up with a view of what a man should be that can be
portrayed as Men’s Health—a magazine
that advocates a man should be athletic, chiseled, well-dressed, successful,
just desired by women.
And at the same time, my father was man preoccupied with
athletic prowess. With that influence, I wanted to be a super athlete, successful,
worshipped by women, a hero, and admired by worldly standards.
As a teenager, the disdain I had for my father and his ambivalence
towards me, grew. Yet, I still followed directly in his footsteps. I pursued
athletic success. And really, my primary objective was to attract women, but
that ultimately led me down a path of destruction.
During my junior year in college, my father passed away. He
was continuing to pursue extreme sports, and he was killed doing hill intervals
on his bicycle. That really kind of rocked my world, because I realized at that
time, that I was trying to earn his approval and now that he was gone, I really
didn’t have that opportunity. It changed the way I thought about the pursuits
that I was after. And in some ways, I really wanted to pursue a life of purpose
and something that I could give back to, but at the same time, I was still a
pretty broken guy and was still trying to prove myself in terms of Men’s Health magazine or the way that my
father raised me.
I began to formulate the idea that I could join the
military, because what’s better than the ultimate man’s profession of being in
Special Ops in the military? So, I joined the Army as an officer, and became a Ranger,
and was deployed several times into combat situations in Iraq and Afghanistan.
That really shaped what I felt a man should be. And that was the first step, I
think, in God’s journey for me—understanding it’s not just selfish pursuits, it’s
now doing something for others that, in a lot of ways, is sacrificial.
One of the other surprising things that happened while I was
in the military was I met my wife Tasha. We decided to get out, and got
married, and had, ironically, two little girls. I never really realized how
selfish I was as a man until those three relying on me and looking to me for
guidance, and just how many things I’ve screwed up in the past. God has a funny
way of doing that, especially when you have two little girls.
I really started to realize that it’s okay… to
be more vulnerable, to know that I’m not in control—God’s in control—that God
is ultimately the one who is shaping my life and shaping my family’s existence,
and that I don’t have it all figured out, and that I, in a lot of ways, need to
lean on him.
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There I was in the Middle East, wearing a camouflage uniform,
carrying a 9 mm handgun—a successful U.S. Army officer whose accomplishments
were pinned to her uniform.
As a young child I grew up in a home that was just broken.
It was filled with domestic violence, alcohol, [and] drugs. And from an early
age, I decided I wasn’t going to rely on anybody else, I didn’t need anybody
else, that I could just do it on my own. You know, I went to college at first,
and then I joined the Army, all to show that I didn’t need anybody else.
I really had the idea of becoming a general as my ultimate goal,
because once you reach that level, I felt like you had made it. And I wanted people
to go “wow, you did what?” I was really looking for that approval from others,
that I was accomplished and I had done well for myself.
So, as I met my husband, Ryan, and we had begun dating, I quickly realized that I was going to have some decisions to make because he wanted a family and I knew deep down that I was never going to be able to balance both. I just knew my heart, that I was going to continue to strive at my job, and that I would probably not balance that well and my family would suffer. So, for me it was going to be a decision, and how to make that work. I kind of had this idea of motherhood that it was going to be something that I was going to accomplish and I was going to be really good at, because in my past I had always done well, I was always at the top of my peers. And so, when Everly came, it was kind of earth-shattering for me because I wasn’t—I wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t meeting all of these accomplishments, or these things that people said I should be doing.
I quickly was thrown into postpartum depression, not only
because kids are hard, but also because no one applauds you or gives you a gold
star for being a mom. So, I struggled with that. And I found myself, at times,
I would meet other people, and they’d go “oh, what do you do?” And I would say,
“Oh, well I stay at home now, but I used
to…” and then I’d throw in an accomplishment that I had from the Army.
Looking back at that, it really makes me sad because I wasn’t
identifying as a mom; I wasn’t holding value to that.
Unfortunately, I wish I could say that this is struggle that
I can say that I’m done with, but it’s not. It’s something I struggle with
every day. And when I see a peer get promoted on social media, or I see photos
of this life I used to lead and was very accomplished in, it’s hard. I’m angry
about it, I get envious that I’m not getting to do that. Instead, I have these
two little blonde girls telling me what to do. You know, it’s tough. And, I
think I always have to remember that I’m not called to this job, I’m not called
to that job–I’m really called to be a follower of Christ.
Making the decision to stay home versus working full-time,
it made me realize that one isn’t more important than the other as I had
earlier thought. Staying home doesn’t mean you’re less awesome, or you’re less
important. There’s not a sliding scale of who you are as a person dependent on
where you are.
For me, I’ve realized that truly my identity is in Christ,
and that’s what I should focus on—to look to him for my strength, and look to
him for my being accepted because he’s the one that truly loves me. My identity is truly in Christ, and
not in motherhood, and not in a job, and not in the day-to-day. He’s more concerned
with the way I live my life than a job that I’m holding.
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/accom23423.png8601280Clear Creek Resourceshttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngClear Creek Resources2019-06-18 14:21:572020-04-23 21:09:00Accomplish: The Tasha Thomas Story
I had an amazing childhood. My dad was a pilot and a good provider, and my parents were always there for me, especially when I developed diabetes at the age of eight. That was my big growing-up moment, because it stole away part of my childhood. I had to learn how to give myself shots and take blood tests five times a day at a young age. I was the only one at school with diabetes, so I was the oddball, which put a little strain on me. But despite that, my childhood was awesome.
My family did go to church, but we never stayed at one place long enough to really grow in anything. But my parents always tried to keep me focused on who Jesus really was even though we didn’t go to church regularly.
Basically, I had a pretty normal childhood, until seventh grade.
My friend Chad grew up three houses down from us, and his dad ran off when Chad was four. His mom passed away when we were pretty young, so my parents kind of took him in. One day, in seventh grade, Chad—along with another friend of mine—handed me a piece of acid.
They said, “Here, put this under your tongue. It will make you see crazy things.” I thought they were just trying to pull my leg but I did it just to see what they were talking about. I thought it was all a joke.
It ended up being really scary, but really freeing at the same time. And I dove into that stuff real fast. I started doing acid every weekend, with those guys and some other friends.
That was the beginning of a downward spiral. I was already behind a grade in school because of my diabetes, and after I started using drugs, I started failing. Most of my friends had moved on and I was falling further behind.
That’s the lifestyle I lived from junior high until I was 29 years old—a complete party lifestyle. All the people I knew experimented with drugs at one point, and then just went to normal drinking or something. I couldn’t get enough. And at the age of 14, my diabetes doctor told me, “If you keep living this way, you’re not going to live to see 21.” In my mind, I wasn’t going to see 21 anyway, so I was like, Well I’ll just party hard and die young,you know?
When I first started using drugs, I realized it was going to be an expensive habit.
I graduated at 19, and three months later I was doing runs to Nuevo Laredo, Mexico, picking up a bunch of pills and coming back here. I did that for about two years until I got caught and went to Mexican prison in Nuevo Laredo.
My arrest in Mexico was the first time I’d been in trouble with the with law, and I got a federal offense of trafficking across federal lines on my record. I was on probation and being drug tested three times a week. There are no drugs you can do that are out of your system within three days. I was like, What am I gonna do?So I started drinking like a fish and piling on the DWI’s. I got four DWI’s in three years, despite the fact that I didn’t have a driver’s license.
By the time I turned 29, I’d been working for an organization for 10 years collecting money; large amounts of money—like $500,000 or more. It’s an ugly world where nobody plays nice, and that’s the life I lived to support my habit.
Even in all that ugliness, I never once asked God for help. I’d been run over twice, stabbed seven times, had my face crushed with a baseball bat, and I lost count of how many times I got shot at. I was even thrown out of a moving car on I-45. That one hurt. That hurt bad. But I never asked God, “God, would you just help me get through this?” I never had those prayers. I still thought it was all me getting through all this, and that I could make it happen.
During my DWI spree, I got a call from a buddy who lived in Freer, Texas, which is right on the Mexican border. He wanted me and several friends to come visit. He said, “Just come out for my birthday, man.” And I was like, “Listen, if I make it out there, we’re not going to Mexico because I ain’t ever steppin’ foot back in Mexico. And I’m not drinking tequila, because I go to jail every time I drink tequila.”
But after a bottle of tequila, we ended up in Mexico in a truck. My buddy Anthony was riding on top of the truck, shooting an assault rifle, and the next thing I knew I saw him rolling down the road.
I thought to myself, I’ll be danged, Anthony fell out of the truck. And then I looked around and realized Iwas lying in the middle of the road. And then I thought, Well I’ll be danged, Ifell out of the truck, too.
When we got home from that, I was out on a boat one day, in the middle of the bay. I told God, “God, if you’re really there – if you’re really real – fix me or kill me. One of the two. Because I hate being me right now.”
The next day I got my fourth DWI, dressed in a hula skirt and holding two pistols in my lap – drinking and driving like a rock star. I knew I was going to prison then. I was on the Top 5 Most Watched list in Texas, and they had me. I had seven felony accounts on that pullover alone, so they had everything they needed. And I never did call anybody to come get me out.
That was when my dad showed up. He’d found out.
He was crying when I came out of the jail, and I’d never before seen my dad cry.
On the ride home, he asked what was wrong with me. And the first truthful thing I’d ever said was, “I don’t know… I really don’t.”
He said, “Do you need help?”
And that’s when I laid out my addictions. My parents knew I was an alcoholic because I couldn’t drink and drive worth a poo. But they had no idea about the drug addiction. For a long time, I’d used my diabetes as a cover for things like weight loss and other side effects of the drugs.
My dad asked, “Well, can you give me a week, and let me find a really good place to send you?”
And I said, “Dad, if you give me more than 24 hours, you’re never going to see me again.”
So my dad woke me up early the next morning, and took me to Pathway to Recovery in Angleton, Texas.
I remember feeling petrified on the ride there because I didn’t want to go. I wanted to go, but I didn’t want to go. And all I was trying to think about was, How bad did it hurt when I got thrown out of that car? Can I make it if I just jump out and run for it? That’s how twisted an addict’s mind is whenever they’re at those crossroads.
But I held out. I got there.
I remember having 12 Valium in my hand, because I thought the program was 30 days. But my struggle was, How am I gonna space this out over 30 days, so I can stay calm throughout this thing?
When I realized it was a 90-day program, I downed all the pills. I was like, All right, I’m gonna feel good this first day.
***
My very first day there, before I knew the rules and everything else, I was reading about God on all these steps in the program and I thought I got tricked into some church thing.
I was mad.
I said “G-D” and this kid walks up, and he’s all, “God doesn’t need a dam, he can walk on water.” And I’m not good with comebacks, so I just hit him. I got in trouble for that, and I was like, “You need to tell people to keep their mouth shut.”
I ended up being grateful the treatment program was 90 days, because I remember very little about the first 30 days. Detoxing was bad for me. I pretty much just laid on the bathroom floor for three weeks. It was rough. But I finally got coherent enough to start attending meetings and start really digging into the steps—the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. And that’s where I found a relationship with God.
It was easy for me to admit to Step One, that I was powerless over drugs and alcohol, and that my life had become unmanageable. But it was hard for me to grasp Steps Two and Three.
Step Two was admitting my life was unmanageable and that God would have to restore me to sanity. Despite my situation and current condition, it was hard for me to grasp that I couldn’t pull myself together, that God would have to do it.
Step Three was to turn your will and your life over to the care of God. That one was really rough for me. When we did go to church when I was little, we went to a Southern Baptist church, and I remember the pastor saying once, “God’s got a path for everybody.” That ran through my mind all the time, and my question was, Why does my path suck so bad?So turning my will and my life over to God scared me, because I was like, If I don’t have any control over it, if this is the path God already has me on, how am I to trust that?
***
While I was in treatment, there was an old country guy named Bubba who came in and taught Sunday School. I’d always just stand around the corner and listen because I didn’t want to be part of it, but I wanted to hear what he was saying. One Sunday he did a lesson on forgiveness, and I stepped in because I wanted to hear about this. I was about two months sober at that time, so I had a littlebit of clarity. Bubba asked everybody, “Do y’all forgive those that have harmed you?”
I spoke up and said, “Yeah, I forgive everybody that’s harmed me.” And he said, “Well, you say that with hesitance. Who do you not forgive?”
“I don’t forgive myself,” I said.
“Well, why don’t you forgive yourself?” he asked.
“I’ve tortured people for the past 10 years. That’s a hard one for me to swallow and forgive myself for.”
“Well, do you believe in God, son?”
“I’m starting to,” I said.
“Do you believe that God forgave you?”
“Yeah,” I said.
At that point he got right up in my face, nose to nose, and he said, “What makes you bigger than God? Why can’t you forgive yourself then?”
It was like a gut punch. That really got me thinking. Bubba sent me off with a Life Recovery Bible and reading assignments. That exchange made me understand God’s forgiveness in a completely different way than I’d ever known.
***
Four months into my sobriety, I went completely blind. Blood vessels in my eyes had burst and caused my retinas to detach during the detox process.
But, even though I couldn’t see and my life had quickly become more complicated, I was committed to staying sober. I endured 25 surgeries in one year to repair my eyesight, and did so without any medication before, after, or during the procedures. They just strapped me down and gave me something to bite on. I had to sign a waiver for my doctor, and had to explain that the short amount of pain I would feel during surgery would be nothing compared to the amount of pain I would feel as a result of a relapse.
During this time, a friend of mine said, “I want to go to this church down on Egret Bay called Clear Creek Community Church. Do you want to go?” I said, “Sure, let’s go.”
Through everything that was happening in my life, one thing I’d really been struggling with was the concept of God’s will. In AA you’re told to “align your will with God’s will,” but I had trouble figuring that out. I’d been asking people, “What’s God’s will?” But nobody had an answer. Some people told me, “Whatever you’re thinking ain’t God’s will, so don’t do that.” And I was like, “Well, that’s obvious, but what is his will so I know how to align mine with it?” But nobody ever had an answer.
The first day I stepped into Clear Creek Community Church, the very first words out of Bruce Wesley’s mouth were, “If you want to know God’s will, you’ve got to know God’s Word.”
I thought to myself, Oh man! Here we go! I’m never leaving this place! I got the answer I’ve been looking for. And that started a relationship with Clear Creek for me because I heard truth I hadn’t heard before. I heard about a relationship I had never heard about before. What I heard at Clear Creek made my recovery make sense—it connected the dots for me.
But, I wasn’t taking responsibility for learning God’s word and his will. I was a big-time consumer of church. I would show up each week dressed up in a suit, and it wasn’t until I recovered my eyesight that I realized I was the only one. I wanted to come and get fed and play the part, but I was still fighting outside. I still had my anger. I tell people I have 14 years of sobriety but I haven’t put my hands on anyone in six years. It took me a long time to grasp that there’s a new way to solve things without using your fists.
Coming to Clear Creek and hearing the sermons started a change in me, and led to other significant changes in my life.
I exchanged some messages with a woman named Jennifer, who I’d met previously through a mutual friend, and we discovered we both attended Clear Creek. At the time I didn’t have many friends at the church and usually sat by myself. So I said to Jenn, “Come sit with me, please.”
As it turns out, we were both already going to the 10:30 a.m. service at the Egret Bay campus, so we started meeting up and just going to church together. One Sunday we went out to lunch at Chuy’s, and as Jenn tells it, “We were there for four hours because he laid out his life.” I didn’t watch the time, but that last part is true. I wanted her to know everything so she could either run or stick around.
She stuck around and we started hanging out for a while, always meeting at church. After about four months, Jenn asked, “Are we dating?” I said, “I don’t know, are we?” (I honestly hadn’t thought about it.) She said, “I think we’re dating.” And I said, “Hey, that works for me. You’re beautiful, you know? I can handle this.”
(Jay and his wife, Jennifer)
We ended up getting married, and by then she and I were each already serving at the church. She volunteered with the junior high ministry, and I started greeting. I wanted to work with junior high students but was sure they did background checks and knew there was no way I would pass that test.
One Sunday morning, I was at the doors and a woman I knew walked up, along with a guy I also happened to know but hadn’t seen in a long time. The man jumped back when he saw me. “Oh my God! Jay Ellis?!”
I said, “What’s up Eugene?”
He looked at the girl he was with and said, “You’re friends with this dude?” She answered, “Yeah.”
“This dude stabbed me in the neck! And he chased me around the neighborhood with a frickin’ knife!”
By this time Eugene is yelling it at the front door of the church. I looked around and everyone nearby had pretty much stopped and stared at me. I just smiled and tried to continue greeting.
***
As Jenn got more settled into the junior high ministry, people started learning more about our story. Student ministry leaders, Angie Thomas and Lance Lawson, asked me to sit down with them and tell them mywhole story, and after I did they both said they wanted me to be serving in junior high ministry.
I filled out the necessary paperwork but told Lance, “Dude, the background check is pretty extensive.”
Lance said, “Is there anything with kids?”
“No.”
“Then I’ve got a shot,” he said. “I might be able to make it work.”
It took about a month, but I was finally approved to serve in junior high ministry, which I ended up doing for five years.
That was a huge growing experience for me – just leading in student ministry, learning how to be compassionate to a student instead of wanting to slap him upside the head, which is what I wanted to do a lot of times. And I learned so much from those kids—particularly Thatcher Arrington. I was so new to the Bible that anytime we looked up Scripture, I would fumble through, trying to find the right book. Thatcher would grab my Bible and say, “Let me get it for you.” I don’t think he realizes how much he helped me through that first year.
During this time I was attending the Celebrate Recovery class at Clear Creek but wasn’t getting too much out of it—I wasn’t finding recovery in it. Four months after we got married I was laid off from my $12-an-hour job, which was the most I’d ever made in sobriety.
As I wrestled with what to do, Jenn asked me, “Well, what do you want to do?”
I said, “I don’t know. I don’t have any skills. All I know how to do is sell dope and go collect money. That’s it. I don’t know anything else.”
She came back with, “Well, why don’t you go to school and figure out what you want to do?”
So I got an associate degree in occupational safety and health and started applying for jobs. Jenn sat down beside me one day and asked, “What are you doing?”
“Applying for jobs.”
“Are you sure you want to do that?” she asked.
At this point I was completely confused. I’d never gone to college or applied for jobs. I was just trying to play out the process.
“Well, aren’t you supposed to start applying for jobs once you graduate from school?” I asked her. “Isn’t that how it works?”
“I feel like God’s building you to do something different. I feel like he wants you to do something more than safety.”
“Well, what are you talking about?” I was still confused.
“What about ministry?” she said. “I feel like he’s building you to do ministry work from the way that you’ve been learning and going.”
I trusted Jenn but felt this was a decision too big to make on my own, so I reached out to Lance from student ministry. I’d spent several years learning from, and serving beside, Lance in ministry. I’d come to consider him one of my greatest friends because he was able to present himself and present the gospel in a loving way, but willing to call me out when I needed it. He had become “that guy” for me.
After my conversation with Jenn, I went to Lance and said, “You know, I think I want to get into ministry.”
“Okay. What kind?” he asked.
“I have no idea.”
“Well, student? Campus pastor? What kind of vision do you have here?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I like them all. I kind of like each of the duties that everybody does.”
“Well, I’ve got to tell you something,” he said. “I see you do really well in front of groups of people. I always see you do your best, in your environment. Think about this Jay: God allowed you to go through everything you went through—every single drug, every single drink, he allowed you to hurt as many people as you needed to hurt, and get hurt as many times as you needed to get hurt—in order to reach the people that you can reach; people God needs you to reach, that I can’t reach because I’ve never walked that walk.”
He added, “God allowed you to go through that so that your story can reach the people he needs you to reach. So my recommendation would be for you to start a ministry that involves that.”
And that sounded very pleasing to me.
“All right,” I said.
So Lance set up a meeting with me, and campus pastors Greg Poore and Karl Garcia. They asked me, “If you could change one thing about Celebrate Recovery, what would it be?” And I said, “Everything.”
“Really?”
“I really don’t like any part about it, but that’s just me. Celebrate Recovery works great for some people, but it didn’t work great for me.”
“Well, what would you do different? Can you come up with a plan for what you would want?”
(Jay, Lexi, and Jenn)
Over the next year, I went to 15 different recovery ministries in the greater Houston area and found one curriculum I really, really loved called SteppingInto Freedom. It’s the same 12 steps as Alcoholics Anonymous, but every single step points to Christ. The three fundamentals of their step work are growing a foundation in Christ, learning how to walk in Christ, and maturing in Christ. And I loved that! I thought, This is what people need to hear, right here.
I presented the curriculum to Greg Poore, then took him through it. Following his approval, it took a year to get our new ministry, Pathway to Peace, ready and going. We launched Pathway to Peace with four in the group and went through the 12 steps. But then we started getting new people coming in who had never heard of one of the steps, and we heard things like, “Well, what’s steps one through six, if y’all are on seven? I don’t get it.”
Jason Wilson, who was leading the group for me, suggested doing topics at each meeting rather than going sequentially through the steps. “That way,” Jason said, “anyone can relate no matter how far along they are”
I took the suggestion back to Greg—with my sales pitch all prepared—and Greg looked at me and said, “Well, really, my opinion doesn’t amount to crap for you, because I feel like I’ve got the right man for the job for this, because I don’t know about recovery. I don’t know how it runs. I feel like you do, and you’re in a good position to lead these people. So I trust your opinion. If you think this is what y’all need to do, run with it.”
We made the change, and Pathway to Peace attendance has multiplied ever since. We had about 40 people show up at a recent meeting, and we’re an established ministry at Clear Creek Community Church.
A year into the life of Pathway to Peace, we realized that on top of ministering to recovering addicts, we also wanted to minister to the families and friends of addicts. Jenn now leads the Concerned Persons group that does exactly that, while I continue to lead the Into Freedom group within Pathway to Peace that is solely for those battling their addiction.
I get one or two phone calls from somebody new every single day, from either the website or a referral from somebody at one of the campuses. We hear so many stories of people who had zero relationship with God, and are now serving at the church, and in small group, and, even leading groups. People now having a relationship with God. Three people who have gone through Pathway to Peace have been baptized.
It’s beautiful to sit back and watch when we see the light go on for someone, and they’re finally understanding grace and the relationship aspect of God. That true surrender finally happens and it changes their life.
***
You should know, my life isn’t easy. It’s tempting to read all of this and think, Oh, I guess it all worked out.In reality, I continue to battle constant health issues because of my past. But for all the bad, and all the hurt and pain I’ve caused and endured, God continues to use my experience for his good.
We all have a story, and we all need to use it to reach the people that God needs us to reach. Our story is our platform, it’s our poster, it’s what we need to go show the world so that we can say, “Thisis what I was, but thisis who I am in Christ.”
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/road3202.jpg8601280Clear Creek Resourceshttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngClear Creek Resources2019-06-02 14:30:432020-04-23 21:09:34The Road: The Jay Ellis Story
Physically, I’ve been somebody who, since I was in high school worked out every day. I was a college athlete. Played sports my entire life.
I stopped working out, I stopped training. Things didn’t get to me. I could really feel my heart hardening to a lot of things that would previously affect me, and that was when my wife really knew that something was wrong.
When people are going through depression for whatever reason, they don’t necessarily recognize it at that time. And I didn’t either.
So, my brother had a child with my sister-in-law, my wife’s sister. And he just up and left. He abandoned the family, took off. And whenever all of that happened, because of how tight-knit both of our families are, it created a lot of animosity and thrust me into that middle man role. With that came a lot of expectation and things – the way other people wanted me to handle the situation. And it created a lot of tension within my marriage. And we were still a very young marriage, at that point we hadn’t even been married a year.
When I would come home from work, I would eat dinner and go to bed because the last thing I wanted to do was have a conversation with my wife.
I was a coward to the point where I was going to try to push her away.
In my mind at that time, that was the only way I was go get the resolution that I wanted, which was to get everybody away from me so I could get a fresh start, and I could go out and be alleviated of this situation, because I didn’t want to live that way for the rest of my life.
Everything I was doing was dictated around trying to get rid of that sense of stress in my life to the point where it actually pushed me to commit adultery. That was the lowest I’d ever sunk in my life. I didn’t know how to come back from that.
At that point, I fully anticipated coming home, her having my stuff waiting outside. I could pick it up and hit the road.
And I was wrong.
When I got home… Well, I didn’t go home. She met me at a church. And, she sat there and I expected her to chew me out and to want to know why, and to hate me, to just throw me out. And she didn’t. She sat there and she looked me in the eyes, with tears coming down her face and she told me that she’s not giving up on me, she’s not quitting on me. And it made me so angry. I was so mad at her! How can you respond that way? That makes no sense to me.
So initially, I just fell deeper into that depression and started struggling even more, and tried to push her away even more. Then it was just a slow battle of redemption.
It wasn’t me.
Because at that point, there was nothing that I wanted to do that was going to bring me out of that. I wanted to get away from it, and that’s what was going to bring me out of the depression in my mind. It was God working in certain ways. Everybody thinks about the way that God’s going to work within them. But what you don’t understand, and you don’t anticipate, is the way that God works in people around you.
That was the thing that I guess affected me more than anything, was I got to see it in my wife. I got to see the people who I expected to be the angriest, and the most disappointed in me, not be so. I got to experience things that were total God moments, where people that, for no other reason than God being in that place at that time, were pouring very specific messages that I needed to hear during that journey into my heart. That was kind of how it happened. It was gradual, it wasn’t just overnight I flipped a switch, but there was that moment of clarity for me where I realized I do love my wife, and God brought her into my life for a reason. And she’s the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
For a lot of that entire process I didn’t want to know necessarily the answer for forgiveness because I didn’t feel like I was forgivable. I felt like what I did was the most heinous thing that anybody could ever do. For me, there was no excuse why my wife should stay with me. I didn’t deserve to be with her. Just kind of painting this pity party, so to speak, of why I didn’t deserve to be forgiven. All the while, I’ve got people who are showing me the entire time what it means to forgive, what it looks like to forgive. I didn’t understand that God is a forgiving God, that he is a redeeming God, and he forgives us and allows us to be able to have these opportunities at redemption.
So, understanding that, and learning exactly what the gospel teaches us about forgiveness. Because in our world, when people do things as heinous as what I did, you don’t forgive them. You don’t ever lose that sense of being angry toward that person, that just doesn’t happen. You don’t see that happen unless God is truly working in somebody. So, learning what that looked like, and seeing it firsthand from my wife, that was the lesson that I learned. It wasn’t a particular verse, but it was seeing the lesson of forgiveness being lived out through the people around me. You know, the way that she was handling things with sending me prayers, and sitting there and actually seeing her go through and revert back to Scripture to pull her through the situation, because, obviously, she was struggling as well. And so, she’s finding Scripture to pull herself through it, she’s finding Scripture to pull me through it. And then from there, it was just, you know, we had a very intentional sense that the Gospel has to be at the forefront of our lives.
So, we got plugged in at Clear Creek [Community Church], and really started to grow, and continued to push each other.
I mean, obviously, since I got baptized last year, there are things that I still struggle with.
When you get baptized and you come to faith in Christ, it’s not easy. I tell people oftentimes, it’s a lot harder. Walking this way and living your life by faith is a lot harder than not. But there’s no better way to live it
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During the series Salty: Sticking Out for the Right Reasons, we’re discussing questions related to each message on our podcast. On this episode, Ryan Lehtinen, Yancey Arrington, and Aaron Lutz discuss the questions: What is the church? And why is it important for the church to regularly gather together for worship?
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/josef-maxson-2EEk7zvHUFc-unsplash-scaled.jpg13652048Clear Creek Resourceshttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngClear Creek Resources2021-10-17 05:30:362021-10-14 12:01:21109: Why Should I Show Up to Church?
During the series Salty: Sticking Out for the Right Reasons, we’re discussing questions related to each message on our podcast. On this episode, Ryan Lehtinen, Bruce Wesley, and Greg Poore discuss the questions: Why do people have such a difficult time having constructive relationships with people who think and behave differently than they do? And how should Christians live in an age of tribalism and outrage?
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/siavash-ghanbari-viMyUbkD84k-unsplash-scaled.jpg13652048Clear Creek Resourceshttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngClear Creek Resources2021-10-10 05:30:422021-10-10 11:59:46108: Living in an Age of Outrage
During the series Salty: Sticking Out for the Right Reasons, we’re discussing questions related to each message on our podcast. On this episode, Ryan Lehtinen, Lance Lawson, and Aaron Lutz discuss how living in a self-absorbed culture impacts our kids. And how we can help our kids be less inwardly focused and more outwardly focused.
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During the series Salty: Sticking Out for the Right Reasons, we’re discussing questions related to each message on our podcast. On this episode, Ryan Lehtinen, Yancey Arrington, and Aaron Lutz discuss the questions: Is being rich a sin? What warnings are given to the rich in the Bible?
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During the series Salty: Sticking Out for the Right Reasons, we’re discussing questions related to each message on our podcast. On this episode, Ryan Lehtinen, Yancey Arrington, and Bruce Wesley discuss the questions: Why does God allow suffering? How can we walk with those who are suffering?
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/gadiel-lazcano-ulPAVuxITEw-unsplash-scaled.jpg13652048Clear Creek Resourceshttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngClear Creek Resources2021-09-19 05:30:162021-09-21 12:02:32105: Why Does God Allow Suffering?
During the series Salty: Sticking Out for the Right Reasons, we’re discussing questions related to each message on our podcast. On this episode, Ryan Lehtinen, Yancey Arrington, and Aaron Lutz discuss these questions:
Do Americans in general feel more positively or negatively about Christianity? If so, why is that the case?
Is it a Christian’s role to call out sin in our cultural?
Also, new for this series, you can watch the video of our podcast converation on our YouTube channel.
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“You aren’t raising kids, you’re raising future adults.” School is back in session, and even though the stress and strain of 2020 isn’t gone, the new school year feels at least reminiscent of the rhythm of life before COVID. But how, if at all, has that changed teenagers and how we parent them? And how can parents lead their teens to re-engage and move forward? On this episode, Jon Coffey talks with Clear Creek’s director of Family Ministries and Church on Wednesday Campus Pastor, Lance Lawson, and 528 Campus attender, former student ministry volunteer, and parent of four kids, Stacey Morgan, to talk about raising future adults in 2021.
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/patrick-buck-iPpy3Mupk8k-unsplash-scaled.jpg13652048Clear Creek Resourceshttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngClear Creek Resources2021-09-05 05:30:432021-09-01 14:02:15103: Parenting Teens Today
While over half of Americans report praying, in our post-Christian society the concept and practice of prayer can be confusing and even intimidating. Why do we pray? Does prayer really work? What should we pray about? On this episode, Rachel Chester talks with Aaron Lutz, E96 campus pastor, Rachel Fisher, Small Groups Associate, and one of our Clear Creek worship leaders, Tanner Smith, about the power of prayer in our own hearts and for the kingdom of God.
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Looking through the list of classes on clearcreek.org, there’s one that might sound a little intimidating — Systematic Theology. On this episode, Ryan Lehtinen talks with Systematic Theology teachers, Yancey Arrington and Mandy Turner, to discuss what Systematic Theology is, why it’s important, and the surprising impact it has on those who study it.
https://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/madeleine-ragsdale-igwr_pgfyZU-unsplash-scaled.jpg13652048Clear Creek Resourceshttps://clearcreekresources.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/CCResources-1.pngClear Creek Resources2021-08-22 05:30:532021-08-19 15:12:12101: The Surprising Impact of Studying Theology
From Snow White in 1937 to Raya in 2021, princess movies have entertained and influenced little girls for decades. But is this influence good or bad? On this episode, host Rachel Chester is joined by Chris Alston, West campus pastor, Dalena Ryskoski, a volunteer on Clear Creek’s Children’s Ministry oversight team, and Aaron Chester, Clear Creek’s “How to Study the Bible” class instructor, to discuss how these princess movies have changed over time and how they lead us to change as well.
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They would talk about their thoughts on the current small group study, and it was the first chance in a long time to connect with one another about something deep. In those moments, without their kids and without distractions, Erin and Eli began to develop a friendship again.
