It’s Viral

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Kay and I, like many other people, have been taking a lot of walks the last few weeks. It’s been fun and it’s been a bit strange because there are times when so many people are strolling it almost looks like a parade. Everyone walking in the street – keeping a polite distance – walking along with their dogs, children, bikes, and wagons. It’s hard not to think the world would be a better place if evening walks in the neighborhood became our collective norm.

Still, there is something unsatisfying about it.

The parade has the appearance of being quaint and beneficial, until you look closely enough to see what’s really going on. If you stop and just watch the “parade” through the neighborhood you notice people are together, but separate. They can get close to each other, but not too close. Some are obviously afraid of everyone and some groups are brazen in their disregard for the whole “distancing” idea.

I want to remember the picture because it so aptly illustrates what sin does.

Think about it. Like a virus, sin is unseen. It is present all around you, and even in you, and it makes you sick and it makes the people you interact with sick.

Sin is the greatest producer of “social distancing” in the history of people. Sin separates us from one another. Sin is like the unseen virus that produces conversations without hugs, presence without intimacy. Sin is the unseen virus that keeps some people bound in fear of others while some people flaunt their indifference to how they might injure other people. Sin is the virus that makes us mistrust the person approaching us, and even mistrust ourselves. So we keep safe space, we keep secrets, we erect defenses, we chase urban myths seeking cures and comforts.

Maybe the best thing that could come out of the unprecedented response to a physical virus would be if each of us would take some strong action against our spiritual virus, sin. Instead of using the current circumstances as an excuse to look outwardly and act against a physical threat, now would be a great time to look intently inward and deal with a more dangerous threat.

Here is a really good place to look for the virus: if in the midst of spending more time at home you find yourself getting irritable and impatient with your spouse, why is that? Why is it that the person you joyfully became one with is now somehow an inconvenience? What is it that is more important to you than they are? Or, what have you been thinking and doing over the years of your marriage to give your spouse reason to mistrust you or protect themselves from how you respond to life?

If there is tension between the two of you, you can “social distance,” or you can wear masks to cover up and protect what you’ve chosen to love more. You can make your focus the harm you fear they might cause you. You can prioritize your work and personal space and just adapt to the tension. That is what is happening in some hearts and homes in the midst of this forced presence at home. And so, like the evening parade in the neighborhood it looks kind of cool, until you look closely. But if you stop and watch you notice the masks, the fear, and the mistrust.

The better response would be to kill the virus that is living in you and making you the center of your own little universe. The better response would be to hold your heart and its desires up to the truth of Scripture and face up to the ways you choose to serve you, over and against choosing to practically love and serve the person you married. The better response would be to use this unprecedented opportunity to trust God in the simplest, most mundane interactions in your home to serve your spouse. You aren’t going to fix everything in a week, but you can change the trajectory of your marriage starting today, starting with you. As a beginning how about picking just one short verse of Scripture and commit to living it out at home, something like:

 

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:3-4

 

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 

Ephesians 4:29

 

But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Colossians 3:8

 

You pick a verse that will attack the worst symptom of the virus in you. You probably already have one ringing in your ears. If so, do that one.

This strange sort of national “time out” period could be the best thing that ever happened to you, your spouse, your family. But only if you look inside and only if you have the faith and courage to ask God to forgive you, heal you, remake you in his image. God will do that if you let him. He has the power and the will to kill the virus in you.

I hope and pray you will respond to the spiritual virus that’s in you with more energy and enthusiasm than the world is responding to a physical virus.

 

22 Ways to Live Whole-Life Generosity During Tough Times

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This article was originally published on April 1, 2020 by Generous Church and posted here by permission. You can read the original article here.

Whole-Life generosity is needed more during times of struggle than in times of surplus.

Here is a list of 22 simple yet impactful ways that you can encourage people in your church to practice generosity to those right around them.

 

Practice gratitude:

In other words, refuse to be a complainer. Instead, look for the positive and then share it with others. Rather than contacting the complaint department whenever something is wrong, commit to only contacting businesses when you receive good customer service or excellent product delivery. Memorize and practice Colossians 3:15.

Share your stuff:

Have extra of some things? Why not share with those who don’t? Right now, things like toilet paper, disinfectant, hand cleaner, etc. are in short supply. Donate them to neighbors, local shelters and nursing homes. Then make it a habit to share your stuff with others from now on.

Remember the homeless:

These folks are always at risk but especially now. Call your local homeless shelter and ask what they need, then deliver what you can.

Help the youth:

Older generations have a lot to share with younger people. If you’ve faced previous hardships, your experience can provide fresh perspective and comfort to kids who are struggling with their current situation.

Shop local:

Call first, then order delivery or carry out. While there, buy some gift cards and give some away or keep some for future use.

Give blood:

The American Red Cross has a huge shortage right now. Once the current situation has passed, you’ll already know how easy it is to do donate regularly.

Support the service industry: 

Prepay your barber, hair salon, the babysitter, etc. using Paypal, Venmo or Apple Pay. Send them a note letting them know you care.

Go senior shopping:

Perhaps you can run errands, pick up groceries (even medications with permission) for the elderly and those who are immuno-compromised.

Get some exercise:

The gym maybe closed, but your neighbors need some yard work done. Call and ask if you can help out. Be the person who brings everyone’s trash bins back to the garage after the collection trucks have left your neighborhood. One Kansas City metro neighborhood had a person who did this every week for those on his street. After a while he was given the honorary title of “Mayor” for his subdivision because of this one simple but thoughtful act.

Order some flowers:

Have them delivered to a place of business that remains open or other “essential” organization. Include a note letting them know you’re praying for them.

Use technology:

Apps like Nextdoor let you see if any neighbors have asked for help. Reach out to them and be a blessing.

Help local food banks:

Call first to ask what they need. Things like funds, food, or volunteer help.

Stay connected:

Texting is fine. Email is okay. But picking up the phone and calling someone is even better. Consider using Zoom or FaceTime to stay in touch. This is good for both your friend and your own soul.

Reconsider your finances:

Now is the time to examine your spending, saving and especially your giving practices. Prayerfully consider what needs to change in the area of financial generosity. We’re not talking about tithing – we’re talking about living generously, being radical with the resources God has entrusted to you. Luke 6:38

Remember widows and orphans:

You can never go wrong being generous to those who are at risk and vulnerable. James 1:27

Order food:

Place the order and have it delivered…to someone else! Firefighters, EMTs, Paramedics, hospital staff, and many others would be delighted to have a box of fresh donuts, a couple of hot pizzas or some excellent Barbeque delivered to their workplace.

Remember your church: 

Consider volunteering for an area of ministry you know is always lacking help. Contact the appropriate staff member now and let them know you’re “all in” when services resume. Then keep your promise. Also, remember to contribute faithfully. Malachi 3:10

Pray and fast: 

We’re commanded to pray without ceasing. Now is a perfect time to practice the spiritual disciplines of prayer and fasting.

Write some notes:

Nothing beats a handwritten note. Sit down with pen and paper, jot a brief message of encouragement and drop it in the mail. Everyone loves getting personal mail. Remember the old saying regarding letters, “You have to write them to get them.”

Enjoy being quarantined: 

Stay home and use the extra time to get some cleaning, organizing or simple projects done. Staying home helps protect you have health risks and protects those around you, too.

Be creative:

These are just a few ideas, but I bet you can come up with many others. Keep the current restrictions in mind and make your ideas fit the context of your current situation.

Remember who you are:

Or better put, remember to Whom you belong. As Americans we have the right to free speech. As Christians we have the authority to speak truth. But we have to earn the right to be heard. When you speak, be positive, loving, caring, and gentle. Live out the Fruit of the Spirit. Call your neighbor to ask how you can help them. Ask if you can pray for them. Share a favorite passage of Scripture with them. Be generous in love!

Freedom: An Encouragement for Small Groups

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“For freedom Christ has set us free…” (Galatians 5:1a)  

It certainly feels like Paul’s words to the Galatians are at odds with our current situation. For most of us, we’ve never had our freedoms so drastically limited as we have during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Has Christ’s work been overcome by this disease or our leaders’ decisions? “Of course not!” you might say, “that’s not what Scripture is talking about.” And you would be right. But, then why have we become so obsessed with what we can’t do right now?

If we keep reading, Paul addresses the underlying struggle:

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”

Galatians 5:13

Our flesh wants the control back it thought it once had and enjoyed. Don’t get me wrong, our freedom to move about and function the way we did before COVID-19 gave us amazing opportunities we’re missing now. But if you find your mind clouded by thoughts of what you’re being kept from, or your actions paralyzed by the inability to do your normal routine, you may be missing some of what Jesus set you free to be and do, both now and perhaps before.

Instead of what we can’t do, let us focus on the unexpected opportunities and blessings our Savior has provided even in the midst of our current situation.

This is where Small Group comes in.

Often, for our gaze to be lifted, we need fellow travelers on the same path to point out where we’ve lost focus, arm us with Scripture and help us see how to move forward. And we need an initial forum to exercise our freedoms through loving service. Our group, like others, has struggled to find its rhythm in this new paradigm. But lately we’ve started shifting from what has been lost or changed to all the possibilities our freedom affords to love and serve each other, and it’s exciting! 

Here’s just a few things we’re trying during this season:

  • We are beginning a new group study format where each couple “owns” one of the weekly discussion questions to help everyone one be heard and involved amidst the often awkward and uncomfortable video conferencing.
  • Borrowing from an old group experience, we have launched a “Double Date Challenge” to encourage couple’s to build deeper relationships through face-to-face (but legal!) pairings. The creativity has already started flowing to balance safe and responsible activities with our craving for in-person community. For example, bring-your-own picnic on blankets six feet apart.
  • And while challenging, we’ve continued to look for opportunities to love and serve our community together, like writing letters to local nursing home residents who are unable to have visitors.

There are no limits to the amount of love Jesus is giving you, so be encouraged! Your freedom to love and serve each other is still fully intact, and with eyes on our Lord’s example and his Spirit empowering us, it may even be enhanced!

Don’t give up meeting together, no matter how awkward or emotionally unsatisfying.

And don’t let what you can’t do stop you from all the things you can do with the freedom we have in Christ!

 

The Power of Presence

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Our world is beautiful but broken, filled with both joy and suffering. When people we love are in the midst of this suffering, we desperately want to figure out how to help. How can we step into the dark moments with love? What can we do? How can we help? Our inability to fix suffering can lead us to feel helpless, but sometimes the simplest answer is the best answer: show up.  

 

Your presence is often the most powerful gift you can offer to someone in pain.  

 

Where is God in the midst of all the evil and darkness of our world? He is here. He is Emmanuel, God with us, and this transforms everything. Even in the most difficult times in our life, the presence of God with us sustains and comforts. Theological arguments on the why of suffering or scriptural truth on the value of suffering are important, but intellectual discussions are rarely helpful in moments of suffering or discomfort. These moments require relationship. We are created in the image of an eternally relational God—we are designed for relationship, with God and with each other. Through Jesus we are able to experience the blessing of God’s presence, whose love transforms everything. In the same way, when we are present with each other in suffering, we are able to love each other as Christ loves us.  

 

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

 

John 13:34 

 

When one of my children is sick or upset, as soon as I show up things are better. Just by listening to them or holding their hand, they can find peace. Usually our experiences of pain are more severe as adults, but what we need from others stays the same. Suffering requires our patient and loving presence, modeled by the God who is faithful to be present with us, always.  

 

Sitting at the hospital when a child is sick, listening to marriage difficulties of a friend, attending the funeral of our brother-in-Christ—these tangible moments of presence can encourage and strengthen others in their pain. Showing up in this way takes time, sacrifice, and the vulnerability of deep connection, but it is worth it. Our presence does not fix the pain and suffering in this world, but it can be powerful. When we look back on tough times in our lives, we remember who was there with us—who stepped in and in doing so brought light into dark places.  

 

It can be difficult to remember in the midst of suffering, but one day our King will return to wipe away every tear and make all things new. The biblical narrative culminates in a world with no more suffering, in which we are finally in the continuous and perfect presence of God, who drives out darkness completely, eternally.  

 

His presence changes everything. 

 

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth…. I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God…and I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.

 

Revelation 21:1-5 

 

The greatest gift God gives to us is himself. To be in his presence is to know peace and relationship and rest. Another great gift God gives to us is our family in Christ, embodying the gospel of salvation to each other. The presence of our brothers and sisters demonstrates the power of compassion and reminds us of God’s faithful love.

 

As the family of God, we can bring the light of God into the dark places until they are transformed into something new.  

Close Quarters, Healthy Marriage

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All areas of life are being tested right now: finances, health, school, work, and for many of us, marriage.

Social distancing presents opportunities to grow, but can also create friction in our marriage. Amidst the constraints of space, new responsibilities, and fear, we often end up treating those we love the most, the worst. We take out our frustrations on each other, lose patience quickly, and aren’t able escape from the issues in our relationships. We should offer each other a lot of grace — we are in a unique and difficult place — but we can also use this experience to learn how to love our spouse better and strengthen our marriages.

 

1. Begin with Humility

The starting point is recognizing that our own broken nature is the biggest problem in our marriage. It’s not the order to stay at home, it’s not our spouse’s annoying habits, it’s not financial uncertainty—it is our own brokenness. Not because we are horrible all the time, not because we are worse than our spouse, but because we are all broken.

We are called to initiate the other-centered, patient, enduring love of Christ to our spouse, regardless of how they are acting.

Ask yourself, not whether your spouse is living up to your expectations, but where are you falling short of this type of love? We so often fail, but transformation is possible when we begin with repentance. In order to love our spouse well, we have to see ourselves clearly and confess—only then can we turn around.

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.

Ephesians 4:2

 

2. Rest in Grace

Yes, we are broken, but we are also completely forgiven in Christ, which changes everything. In order to extend this grace and forgiveness to our spouse, we must remind ourselves of the gospel love of God – a love that we do not deserve and can never hope to return; a love that is enduring and transformative.

We forgive because we are forgiven.

Instead of white-knuckling our way to restoration through our own effort, we must learn to rest in the grace offered to us in Christ, letting his forgiveness transform us into people who offer this same grace to those around us. And when we do this, when we forgive as we are forgiven—for minor daily hurts or life-altering mistakes—it produces patience, endurance, and love in our marriage.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.

Colossians 3:12-13

 

3. Embrace your Identity 

Even when we approach our relationships in humility and with grace, we cannot escape the reality of conflict. The stereotypical marriage fight—which way should the toilet roll face—has taken on a new meaning today, but here’s the truth: it was never really about toilet paper. We think we are arguing about whether the roll goes over or under, but these arguments are actually rooted in issues of trust and love. Something simple triggers us, we feel disrespected or unloved, and then spiral into an argument.

In order to break free from cycles that leave us distant and defeated, we must remember and trust that we are chosen and loved completely by Jesus. Only then can we let go of needing our spouse to fill this place of identity. An identity centered in Christ frees us to listen without becoming defensive, to reject the temptation to blame, and to respond to our spouse with empathy and patience.

In this love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

1 John 4:10-11

 

We all desire happy and fulfilling marriages—and that’s good— but, the goal of marriage as Christians isn’t personal happiness, it’s much greater.

God’s design is that our marriage would reflect his own love and faithfulness and transform us into the image of Jesus. When we turn toward each other in humility and forgiveness, grounding ourselves in the truth of the gospel, he is able to use these difficult moments for his good purposes.

We are broken, but because of Jesus, we are empowered by his Spirit to transform our brokenness into marriages that reflect the beauty, love, and purposes of God. There are many suggestions on how to fill our time right now—read more, learn a new language, pick up a new hobby—but what if, instead, we build marriages that glorified God and drew others to Christ?

In the middle of trial and testing, may we all turn toward God, turn toward each other, and create something beautiful together.

A People Not a Place?

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With the advent of the COVID-19 pandemic and local churches subsequently suspending in-person gatherings for the sake of public health, a popular statement you hear from spiritual leaders is that the church is a people not a place. 

 

The statement isn’t new. I’ve said it numerous times in the past. It’s even on our church website in big, bold letters. Originally, the phrase was employed to help prevent folks from equating church with a building or a worship service. It was a hard turn away from biblically inaccurate statements like, “I’m going to drive to church this Sunday,” or “Man, I loved church this morning.” Those sentiments expose a thin view of what the church really is. On the contrary, the church is God’s people on mission, which is much more than any corporate worship gathering or a building on a street corner. 

 

So, it is true: the church is a people not a place. 

 

And yet, if spending days sheltering-at-home has taught us anything, it’s highlighted the reality that the church is a people who, in living out the mission, do so (at least in part) by gathering in places. 

 

Don’t misunderstand. I am grateful that as we endure this global pandemic technology allows followers of Jesus to connect with their local churches via online services, virtual small groups, and the like. Make no mistake, this is a good and helpful thing when in eras past this would not be possible! 

 

But it’s also woefully inadequate.

 

If anything, these virtual venues only serve to highlight the need for the church to gather in-person. Being face-to-face, embracing each other, the gift of physical touch, and simply feeling each other’s presence in a room are specific dynamics technology cannot reproduce. And you don’t need to have some big theological epiphany to come to that conclusion. 

 

Don’t believe me?

 

Just start singing. 

 

The first Sunday we suspended in-person services I sat down in my living room with my wife and three boys to participate in our online gathering. The service opened with our worship leaders leading in song. We began to sing as well. And by we l mean me and Jennefer. My boys oscillated between mumbling and sitting in silence. Frankly, that’s not too different from any other Sunday. However, the biggest difference was not doing so within our congregation, of not seeing hands raised or heads bowed, of not experiencing the power of the chorus of voices, of not sensing the intimacy of attendance. That real absence gave me a greater appreciation for real presence. Paul’s instruction in Ephesians 5:19 for local churches to be about, “addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart,” came home to me in a new way. Singing alone in our living room only pointed to the truth that, as part of the church of Jesus, we aren’t just a people but a people who gather in places. 

 

The word “church” in Greek – ekklesia –literally means “the gathered ones” or “the assembly of people.” From meeting at the Temple in the Old Covenant to local churches in the New, the whole history of God’s people is about, among other things, regularly coming together in the name of the Lord. This shouldn’t surprise us. We are embodied people. We live in time and space. The way of the kingdom is to glorify God as embodied people – loving, embracing, touching, holding, supporting – coming together in real places. Being homebound as a nation has given me a deeper appreciation for the command of Hebrews 10:24-25 which says, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” 

 

It didn’t take long for me to miss being together with my church family in a physical place. And it shouldn’t. Even though the church is “a people, not a place” spread all across the globe yet carrying a unified purpose and mission, that same church thrives when it’s members gather together in very real places. We were never meant to be the church alone. 

 

Lord, hasten the day when we can meet in places again.

 

The Lord’s Supper at Home

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On Thursday evening of Passion Week, Jesus shared his final meal with his disciples, a meal we now call the Lord’s Supper. In it, he calls his followers to remember his great sacrifice on the cross. The breaking of the bread and the passing of the cup symbolize the body and blood of Jesus respectively.

Because the Lord’s Supper is an act of remembrance for followers of Jesus, any person who has believed on or trusted the Lord Jesus Christ alone for their salvation and has been subsequently baptized can participate. This means that some members of your family or small group may not be ready yet. This is a great opportunity to explain the good news of gospel.

 

Preparation

Put a loaf of bread or crackers on a platter and pour grape juice or wine in cups for everyone. It’s up to you to add music or candles to create a different environment. There are many ways to serve the Lord’s Supper. The important thing to remember is that this is a time of worship, celebration, remembering and reflection.

 

Passion Week Lord’s Supper Guide

Begin by reminding everyone of the purpose of the Lord’s Supper by reading this aloud…

We gather here to take the Lord’s Supper. Jesus instituted this meal for his followers as a regular remembrance and celebration of his sacrificial death. The breaking and eating of bread symbolize the body of Christ being broken on the cross. The drinking from the cup symbolize the shedding of his blood whereby we are forgiven. In this meal we worship him and give thanks for the forgiveness of our sins and the new life and relationship that we have in Jesus Christ.

 

Invite someone to read Isaiah 53:3-6

3 He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4 Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his wounds we are healed.
6 All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

 

Distribute the bread and cups.  Then read the following…

Before partaking the Lord’s Supper, the church has often invited those present into a moment for confession. Confession is not something we do to make ourselves feel guilty. Instead, when we admit our sin, we are reminded of our need for grace. So, let’s now take a moment of silent prayer for us to confess our sin personally to God and then I will close us in prayer.

 

After about a minute of silent prayer, close by reading this prayer…

Holy and merciful God, in your presence we confess. We confess our sin, our shortcomings, and the times we have opposed your will this week. You alone know how often we wander from your ways, how we waste your gifts, and how we forget your love. Have mercy on us and forgive us. Help us walk more faithfully with you. We thank you that you hear our confession. Amen.

 

Invite everyone to hold the bread in their hands and read the following…

The Scriptures tell us that when we confess, God is faithful and just to forgive. This bread and cup remind us of our assurance of his grace. In Christ, we are accepted, we are forgiven, we are loved. 1 Corinthians 11:23-24 tells us, 23 For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.”

 

Eat the bread together.

 

Then invite everyone to hold their cup and read 1 Corinthians 11:25-26

 25 In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

 

Close in your own prayer of thanksgiving or read the following prayer aloud…

Father, as we have received the bread and the cup, you have fed us with the spiritual food of the body and blood of our Savior Jesus Christ. Thank you for assuring us of your goodness and love, and that we are members of his body. Renew us by your Holy Spirit, unite us in the body of your Son, and bring us with all your people into the joy of your eternal kingdom; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

 

Optional: If you would like to worship through song, you can choose from Clear Creek original songs or a Spotify playlist at clearcreekresources.org/music

10 Things to Consider When Talking to Someone Who is Struggling

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Even the most well-meaning person can hurt someone who is struggling more than help them if they aren’t careful.

We don’t have to have all the answers. We don’t have to find solutions to every problem. Sometimes the best thing we can do is simply show up for someone who’s hurting.

Here are ten things to keep in mind when you do:

 

  1. Engage them as a helper, not as a fixer. You are only a partial knower, you can only ever be a partial fixer. Jesus is the only perfect fixer.Remember it is possible God providentially arranged for your involvement with the suffering person to grow you as you watch someone else go through suffering.

 

  1. Remember, God is in control. But very often a person who is struggling needs time and space to remember and accept that he is. Gently and patiently point people to Jesus.

 

  1. Be careful not to assume you fully understand what they are going through. You don’t. If you think you fully understand you will tell them what worked for you and when it doesn’t help, you will blame them. Remember the impact of tragedy is different for everyone and so is the process of grieving.

 

  1. Don’t minimize the suffering and difficulty a person is experiencing. Tragedy and suffering are about more than the source event. Tragedy destroys normal expectations and experiences for life and changes a person’s worldview. The best gift you can give is to take time to understand their story and talk about the roots of the emotions they express.

 

  1. Be very careful about identifying specific purposes for the evil and suffering someone is experiencing. Too often we say things in an effort to help someone feel better but what we actually communicate is that they shouldn’t be as upset as they are.

 

  1. “Speaking the truth in love” does not mean you unload all the truth you know in the moment. Context matters. What is the most gracious and appropriate truth right now? Give them that one.

 

  1. Understand that suffering people often speak “felt truth” as if it is true. In other words, hurting people often say heretical things. Don’t feel like you have to correct their theology in the middle of their pain. Weep with those who weep.

 

  1. Be careful not to offer false hope by saying what the Bible doesn’t say. Often suffering people need to loosen their grip on promises God never gave. Too often they have a grip because some well-meaning person told them an untruth trying to make them feel better in the beginning of the situation.

 

  1. Trust God’s character and the hope he has given. A person’s willingness to trust God is anchored to what they believe about his character. Give appropriate truth and appropriate time and space.

 

  1. Presence is powerful. Words are dangerous. Engage them, pray for them and with them, use words with care to “give grace to those who hear.”

 

**Adapted from a seminar hosted by Andrew Dealy and Jason Kovacs at Austin Stone Church

 

What We Know

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There’s a story in the book of 2 Chronicles (yes, 2 Chronicles) about Jehoshaphat, the king of Judah. A few chapters earlier, the Bible tells us God was with Jehoshaphat because he sought the one true God, instead of the Baals – the popular idols of the day.

This is what we read picking up in Chapter 20:

“After this the Moabites and Ammonites [read: enemies of God’s people], and with them some of the Meunites, came against Jehoshaphat for battle. Some men came and told Jehoshaphat, ‘A great multitude is coming against you from Edom, from beyond the sea; and, behold, they are in Hazazon-tamar’ (that is, Engedi) [read: your land]. Then Jehoshaphat was afraid and set his face to seek the Lord, and proclaimed a fast throughout all Judah. And Judah assembled to seek help from the Lord; from all the cities of Judah they came to seek the Lord.” (2 Chronicles 20:1-4)

So basically, these guys show up and tell the king, “There’s this huge terrible thing coming towards you! But actually, it isn’t just coming, it’s already here!”

Does that sound familiar? Does it remind you of these crazy days of COVID-19?

Have you felt this sense of impending badness coming toward us? Have you wondered to yourself, How are we going to get out of this one? Or, What are we supposed to do?

Well, Jehoshaphat, a faithful man, was afraid and so he went to the Lord. He prayed in front of the whole nation. He said:

“O Lord, God of our fathers, are you not God in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. In your hand are power and might, so that none is able to withstand you. Did you not, our God, drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel, and give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend?” (2 Chronicles 20: 6-7)

In this prayer, he stated things they all know to be true of God – his strength, the promises he’d made, and the ways he’d been faithful to them before.

And then Jehoshaphat said this:

“…For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” (2 Chronicles 20:12b)

What a great prayer! “God, we have no control, and we don’t even know what to do. But we trust you.”

To say that, and not only to say it, but to believe it – to not just know it, but to let it affect the way you live – when facing… what? Discomfort? Disruption of our normal life? The possibility of death?

“God we trust that you are strong, we trust that you are good, we trust that you love us, but mostly we trust that you have a plan through all of this.”

It reminds me of another passage from the Bible.

Jesus, facing his own impending discomfort/disruption/death, goes to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray right before he is betrayed by one of his friends.

“And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, ‘My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.'” (Matthew 26:39)

We all want God to just go ahead and call an end to all of this source of worry and disruption and uncertainty and of possible harm. We know he can do it. But we also know he knows what he’s doing. It’s out of our hands. And what better hands for it to be in?

So, Jehoshaphat and his people went to the edge of the battlefield and found all of their enemies laying dead on the ground.

Jesus went to the cross and died for the sins of the world.

We don’t know what’s around the bend for us. But this is what we do know: God is strong, God is good, God loves us, and most of all, God has a plan.

He has a plan for the world through all of this. Who knows in what ways he might use his people to reach people in the world?

He has a plan for us through all of this. Who knows how he might transform our own hearts – refining us, leading us to let go of control and some of our other idols, softening our selfishness – through all of this?

And he has a plan for the grand story of the world that passes right through all of this. He knows the end. He knows it ends with every knee bowed and every tongue confessing that Jesus is Lord.

Friends, trust in God – through COVID-19, your happiness, your heartache, and everything in between.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4-7)

A Prayer of Lament

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In week 2 of the Good Grief message series, I talked about the essential elements of lament:

  1. Turn to God
  2. Tell him how you feel
  3. Ask him for help
  4. Declare your trust in him

As I’ve been processing and trusting in God in this season, I wrote this prayer of lament about the loss of fruitfulness as a church. In it, I express with honesty how I feel and not necessarily what is true. We can be encouraged that God meets us in our honesty.

If you are experiencing a season of sadness or lament, try writing your own prayer of lament to God expressing how you feel.

Dear God,

You sent us on a mission and now you have distracted us. You have sequestered us and made us wait. Just before the harvest, the storm has taken our crops. You have given us work to do and taken away our tools.

Help us, O God. Open the doors to your truth that we can’t personally walk through. Show us how to love people without being with them, to be your hands and feet while staying at home. And heal us, Lord. Kill this invisible enemy.

I know you have not forsaken us, O Lord. The cross of Jesus was dark, Jesus died and the disciples were scattered. But up from the grave he arose. You turned the darkness to light, the death to life, the dread to hope.