Time to Love

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”

David Ausberger

One of the first gifts Jesus gave to the downtrodden and marginalized people he met was the kindness of hearing them. That is why he asked so many questions. That is why he answered so many questions. That is what made him stand out from the other religious and civic leaders of his day — the important and very busy leaders of his day.

Jesus noticed. 

Jesus stopped and asked. 

Jesus listened to the answer and asked more questions.

Jesus didn’t confuse a person’s status with their significance, but sought to understand that particular individual.

Personally, if I could snap my fingers and be different in one specific way, it would be that I consistently took the time Jesus took to truly hear people, because I believe it is true that being heard is so close to being loved that most people can’t tell the difference.

You could fill Galveston Bay with all the material that has been written on good listening practices and I imagine the majority of it is helpful. But the way of Jesus had and has less to do with technique and more to do with intent.

Do you ever ask yourself, Why am I speaking with this person right now?

  • When you are talking with your spouse about what happened at work, or what the kids did today.
  • When you are disciplining your child.
  • When you are debating ideas in a meeting at the office.
  • When you are talking about a struggle in the life of one of your small group members.

Why am I speaking with this person right now?

I can tell you that many times my answer would be one of the following: “Because I have to.” Or, “Because I can fix that for them.” Or, “Because I want to give them a piece of my mind.”

I can also tell you that it is rarely, at least initially, “Because I want to understand why they feel the way they feel. Because I want to understand who they are, and not just what their problem is.”

But Jesus’ consistent practice was to seek out the person. To borrow a phrase from Paul Tripp, Jesus “looked for the person in the middle of the problem.” Jesus knew that a person’s problems can teach us a lot about who they are, so he sought to meet and engage the person who was struggling with the problem.

What is convicting about Jesus’ kind of listening is that it is not really that hard to do. I can do it. It’s just that I often don’t, because, too often, I am much more like the religious and civic leaders of Jesus’ day than I am Jesus — important and busy. So, too often, I don’t engage the person, I just offer my brilliant solution to the problem I haven’t taken the time to understand, because it’s easier to solve problems than to hear people.

Not long ago I heard a phrase that I have been thinking about since. I don’t know who said it, but I think this gets to the heart of the issue.

“Communication depends on the humility to speak in a way that the other person can hear.”

(Source unknown)

I am convicted that my listening problem is a pride problem.

How can I speak in a way the other person can hear if I don’t know anything about them? How can I speak in a way the other person can hear if I don’t take the time to ask, to seek, to reflect, to get clarity, to build trust?

I can’t.

We don’t need humility to give superficial or trite answers. We don’t need humility to give simplistic solutions to complex problems. We don’t need humility to brush people off because we don’t want to take time to get involved. We don’t need humility to hand out Bible verses like they are medicine.

Jesus is the definition of humility. We need to follow his way with others. He already knew everything about the people he met and the problems they had. He didn’t have to ask questions, but he did. And what Jesus did — with centurions, gentile women, Pharisees, crippled people, and even the demon possessed — was teach people one thing: he cared about them.

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”

The Casey Baldwin Story

Casey Baldwin was introduced to Christianity at a young age, but he was left with a lot of questions and not many answers.

For years, he lived content with the answers atheism provided.

But when Casey and his wife decided to start a family, they opened up to going back to church.

5 Ways to Pray for Your Top 5

So you’ve identified the five people you most want to see come to know Jesus, but… now what?

When praying for those in your life who are far from God, where do you start?

Here are five suggestions on where to begin:

  1. God is already at work in the lives of those you love. So, consider asking God to reveal to you how he is already working in their lives and how you can simply join in that work.
  1. Pray for the needs they have mentioned to you in casual conversation. Maybe there are health issues, worries, or struggles they are dealing with. Commit to praying over those things and checking in with them on how those things are going.
  1. Ask God to give them a hunger for the things of God — to seek to know him. Pray that they might have a desire for more than this world has to offer.
  1. Pray that God would bring additional people into their lives to love them and help lead them to Jesus.
  1. Spend some time being still before God. Ask him to give you creativity on how to bless your friends and a heart of compassion towards them.

Commit to pray for the friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers you’ve put on your Top 5 and see how God grows your heart for them.

2 Mistakes to Avoid When Reaching Your Top 5

Having a Top 5 is a simple way to identify, pray for, and be intentional with the people in our lives we hope come to know the grace of Jesus.

Thankfully, we aren’t the ones who save. Jesus is. The pressure isn’t on us to transform hearts or to have all the answers. Yet we have a responsibility to take seriously the mission Jesus gave us in Matthew 28:19-20:

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.

Here are two simple mistakes to avoid when reaching your Top 5.

TREATING PEOPLE LIKE A PROJECT

We must be careful not to think of the people on our Top 5 as projects.

They aren’t just names on a list.

They are friends, family members, coworkers, and neighbors.

These are people we love – because they are worth loving, regardless of what they believe.

2 Corinthians 5:17-20 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us.”

You have been entrusted with a message, not assigned a project.

When our loved ones celebrate, we celebrate! When they grieve, we grieve. When they need support, we serve. We do this because we love the people in our lives and because that’s the kind of people we are.

We love because he first loved us. And we pray that through our relationships, God will speak grace into hearts.

Another mistake to avoid is…

NOT BEING READY TO SHARE YOUR STORY

The passage above from 2 Corinthians says that we’ve been entrusted with a message of reconciliation. At some point you will have an opportunity to talk about Jesus with someone.

What will you say?

You don’t have to know everything about the Bible or have a comprehensive understanding of systematic theology to share the message of Jesus. Although you should be growing in your knowledge of the Bible and understanding of God, you don’t have to have it all worked out before you share the hope that you have in Christ.

1 Peter 3:15 says, “…in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you…”

For starters, all you need to know is why you have hope in Christ.

What has he done in your life?

How have you experienced healing and freedom?

Why have you put your trust in Jesus?

Peter says we should always be prepared to share the hope in us. A little preparation goes a long way. Take a few minutes to write out your story. It could be as simple as looking back at the story from your baptism, or jotting down something God has done in your life recently. Knowing in advance what you want to say will serve you well when the opportunity presents itself.

When it comes to reaching our Top 5, we love the people in our lives like Jesus would, and we rest knowing that he is the one who will transform their heart.

Routines for a Heart of Revival

God established rhythms of worship and remembrance for the Hebrews when they left Egypt and first became the nation of Israel. In addition to Sabbath days of rest, there were holy days of remembrance, feasts, times for confession, and days of thanksgiving. Through this intentionality, God’s people were taught to practice cycles of renewal.

Why were these days and times so important to the identity of God’s chosen people?

Jesus said the entire law could be summed up by the purpose of loving God or others. If everything God commanded was meant to help us love him or our neighbors better, then somehow the concept of regimen and rhythm was meant to help us grow closer to God and serve others.

Perhaps establishing or reestablishing a spiritual routine will prepare our hearts for the revival we desire.

Routines Positions Us

Psychologists agree regular routines decrease stress, promote better sleep, and are healthier for children.

During the pandemic, when millions lost their weekly patterns of work and play and home, mental distress increased. Routines decrease the mental load of decision-making and form a culture in our lives and homes.

God knew ordering our time was essential to maximizing our relationship with him. When God established routines for his people, they regularly included prayer, fasting, worship, giving, and remembrance. These activities often compete with work, school, activities, and the stresses associated with a full schedule.

But in our day of fast-paced and maxed-out schedules, the routines leading to revival slow us down, regularly, so we can hear from God and acknowledge him.

Routines Remind Us
Alarms remind us to wake up. We follow patterns when driving to routine locations. Important traditions put us in the mindset for holidays.

Routines help us do important things.

Proverbs 8:17 declares, “Those who seek me diligently find me.”

One of the benefits of a spiritual routine is that it establishes a consistent rhythm exposing us to truth: God exists and is the creator of all things; God loves you and desires you to know him.

Ignoring our spiritual wellbeing, like ignoring our physical wellbeing, can have dire consequences over time.

Daily prayer, regularly reading God’s word, weekly worship, small group encouragement, an annual fast — these are reminders of who God is and the kingdom in which we live.

What other ways might put you in the path of the work God is doing in and around you?

Routines Form Us
Our habits form us.

Twice Jesus was described doing an activity “as was his custom.” Both times the “custom” or routine had to do with worship and prayer (Luke 4:16, 22:39).

Jesus taught regularly in the temples and retreated often to pray.

There are routines which will improve your physical fitness, practices which will help you lose weight, and disciplines which will, over time, strengthen your financial position.

There are specific routines, too, which help position us to know God better. Hearing and reading God’s word (worship) and prayer are examples modeled by Jesus.

“Routine” may sound ordinary, but without organization, our time is reactionary to the events around us and not intentional toward the goals to which we aspire. Small deeds accomplish grand intentions.

A lack of routine results in a life lived according to circumstance. But routines, on the other hand, form us according to a plan.

Getting Started
1. Start Small — Start by modifying your current routine rather than trying to completely upend your schedule. Do you have silent time at lunch each day? Could you adjust how you spend your commute? Would an extra-long hot bath give you time to reflect? How hard would it be to carve ten minutes off of your gaming time? Consider a modification which overcomes the typical objections to personal renewal.
2. Remove Roadblocks — For some, accountability partners are essential pieces of daily or weekly routines. However, other friends may be a distraction. If the routine requires quiet peace, like prayer, remove the possibility of any distractions during the time you set aside. If the routine involves the joy of being with others, like weekly worship, then let everyone in your circle of friends and acquaintances know that you are busy during that time.
3. Get It on Your Calendar — Set a recurring 15-minute “meeting” on your calendar at the same time each day. Use the notification to pause and pray, read a short Scripture, text someone with an encouragement, or give to those in need. Even if you are super busy, you will be glad the reminder is there, and it will give you an opportunity to acknowledge and respond as soon as possible. To be successful, routines do have to be flexible. But first, they have to be a priority.

God’s design for his covenant people included annual, weekly, and daily routines meant to structure our days and intentionally focus us on worshiping him and loving others. Routines help us pause, remind us of the God we serve, and form us over time. If you are not typically a “routine” person, start small, remove obvious roadblocks, and commit to calendaring prayer, worship, and encouragement.

Nourishing these practices will prepare your heart for revival.

166: Local Ways to Serve During the Holidays

How can our generosity make a real impact in our communities?

How do we step into the mess, right where we are, with the light of the gospel?

In this episode, Rachel Chester sits down with Ryan Thomas, CCCC Go Director, and Shari McCormack, CCCC Go Associate, to discuss how to serve our local community as the hands and feet of Jesus.

 

 

Time is Time & Time is Money

At some point in my college career someone told me, “Use your time wisely because you’ll never have this much free time again.”

I laughed and said “okay,” but was really thinking of how busy I was as a full-time student who was highly involved on campus, working part-time, and volunteering with my local church.

Looking back, I understand the comment they made.

It’s not that I’m necessarily busier today, I just have different responsibilities. I have a marriage that takes work and effort. I have a job that requires more hours. And believe it or not, I must go to the grocery store and cook because there’s not a campus cafeteria to eat at every meal. Every day I have to partake in all the fun things that make up adult life.

I have less free time to use however I want, but I still give my free time to the same things because I think they’re really important for God’s kingdom and my soul.

BE INVOLVED

When I first started college, I wasn’t committed to attending church on Sunday or the college small group on Wednesday nights. I didn’t think I had the time, or to be more honest, I chose to give it to other things.

After a couple months, I realized the reality of my priorities and made a change. Every Sunday morning and Wednesday night quickly became blocked off on my calendar. Over time, my Tuesday afternoons were designated to serving with a youth organization and I became one of the college small group leaders.

I committed to community and serving.

It would have been easy to sleep in on Sunday, plan something with friends on Wednesday, or pick up an extra shift on Tuesday, but I actually looked forward to these things throughout my week. And I still do, just in a different city with small group and Student Ministry on different nights.

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.  – Philippians 2:14-16

I was able to live differently than those around me on my college campus and hopefully give them a glimpse of God’s love and grace. I was able to share the goodness of God with junior high students that I would have normally never crossed paths with. And I did it all with a Gospel-centered support system around me.

We have countless opportunities to be involved in God’s mission, we just have to step into them.

BE AVAILABLE

Don’t book up your free time so much that you don’t have time to love and serve your family and friends.

In college, I made sure I had good quality time with my friends. Time away from studying or walking to class to really check in on them. Sometimes conversations were light, like how classes or relationships were going, others were heavy as we talked about mental health struggles and sin. I wanted my friends to know I was there for them always, regardless of the topic or time.

While I still carve out one-on-one time for my friends, I can also love them with my spouse beside me. Over the last couple years, my husband and I have had several friends who have had babies, so we support them by bringing them a meal, offering to pick up groceries, or watching their little peanut so they can get out of the house baby free.

I serve my people in these ways because that’s how God has gifted me, some of my spiritual gifts being exhortation and hospitality.

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. – 1 Corinthians 12:4-6

Maybe being a shoulder to cry on or cooking aren’t your things. But God has gifted you in your own unique ways that can be used for his kingdom and in the lives of those around you.

BE GENEROUS

Though the main focus of this article is on time, I think it would be a big miss not to address another really important resource: money.

Growing up, my parents taught my brother and I to tithe. I had a childlike understanding of it at the time, but I guess it always felt like a rule, not an act of obedience, and definitely not with proper heart posture.

Fast-forward to when my tithe became more than a couple dollars and suddenly it became more difficult to let those dollars go.

I worked hard for my money and still didn’t feel like I had that much of it. How was I supposed to just give some to the church?

The number in my bank account acted as a security blanket. But I was clinging to the wrong thing.

“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.” – Matthew 6:24

Money can only give me a false sense of security, but it will always fall short. God is my ultimate security and provider.

At times, it seemed to take a crowbar to pry open my fist. I had to teach my heart and mind to relax and recognize that anything I was holding was put in my hands by God first. I also had to keep the gift of salvation that was freely given to me in its rightful, centered place. Now, I joyfully give to my Savior who gave his life for mine.

Each stage of life requires a rebalance of how we use our free time and resources, but it’s not an excuse to stop being involved, available, or generous. You might just have to do some extra planning and pray for God to open your eyes and heart to the opportunities around you.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. — Ephesians 2:10

163: How Can I Become Generous?

We know we should be generous, we want to be generous, but how can we actually become a generous people?

In this episode, Rachel talks with Patrick Johnson, the founder of Generous Church, and Mark Carden, Clear Creek’s Executive Pastor, about practical ways to cultivate generosity in our hearts, our family, and churches so that we can be on mission as the body of Christ.

Starting a Prayer Life

Prayer can feel intimidating and overwhelming, not knowing where to start, but here are three ways to help you begin praying today!

The Sidman Story

Ross and Alana Sidman have been small group Navigators at Clear Creek for years, living on mission, and inviting others to church all while walking their dog.