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Made Well: Jesus and the Bleeding Woman

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“If you could meet anyone in the Bible — besides Jesus — who would it be, and why?”

That was the question posed to the group of women gathered for Bible study in my living room five years ago.

We were an eclectic bunch. We were part of different church bodies, social circles, and life stages. But we all had one thing in common: a deep understanding of our dependence on the gospel of Christ.

These gracious women agreed to meet at my house despite the scattered baby toys and sink full of unwashed dishes because I had just given birth to my second daughter a few weeks prior.

When it was my turn to answer the question, I already knew what I was going to say. I’d want to meet with the anonymous woman who — in my opinion — had one of the most intriguing encounters with Jesus recorded in the Bible.

We’re never told her name, but we can piece her story together from 18 verses spread across three books.

The story goes something like this:

For twelve years, this woman suffered from menstrual bleeding. She spent all of her money on doctors who couldn’t make her better. In fact, it had only gotten worse.

According to the law, she was unclean. For over a decade, she couldn’t go in public without first declaring her uncleanness. Anyone or anything that touched her also became unclean, and she was prohibited from entering the temple.

Like many others, she heard about the miraculous works of Jesus and knew that if she could just get near him, there was a chance she could be healed.

As Jesus was doing ministry, great crowds surrounded him to hear him teach and to seek healing.

On one particular day, this bleeding woman was among the crowd that pressed around Jesus. She was desperate and hopeless, and this was her chance. She reached out and touched his robe, and she felt her bleeding stop immediately.

Jesus noticed that power had left him, so he asked, “Who touched me?”

His disciples knew there was no way to identify who touched him among the crowd that encircled him. But Jesus persisted.

“Who touched my garments?”

She felt the exact moment her decade-long disease had ended, and it became evident that Jesus did too.

He stopped in his path, looking for her.

Terrified and trembling, she fell down in front of him, and told the whole truth about what she had done.

Then, the unexpected happened.  Jesus replied: “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.”

As quickly as it began, their encounter was over.

What an incredible story!

Although there’s a mountain of things we’re never told about her, her story tells us a lot about Jesus by noticing what he didn’t do.

He was not repulsed by her ailment.

A woman’s menstrual cycle is not exactly a hot topic at co-ed dinner tables today. Imagine how repulsive the subject would have been back then!

I can only imagine the shame and humiliation she must have felt as she publicly declared herself unclean and her peers dodged her path to avoid her touch.

Jesus wasn’t that way, though.

When she fell to his feet and confessed what she’d done, he wasn’t at all disgusted. He simply declared she had been made well because to those who seek him in faith, he is kind and compassionate.

He was not indifferent to her faith.

When Jesus stopped to draw attention to the woman, he declared it was her faith that brought her healing.

In fact, the word used to describe her transformation can either mean to “heal” or to “save” and indicates that the moment she received physical healing, she also received spiritual salvation.

Jesus isn’t only interested in our physical healing here and now, He wants us to be restored to right-relationship with God for eternity.

He was not made unclean.

As the woman moved through the crowd to approach Jesus, everyone she touched should have been made unclean, including Jesus! But that’s not what happened.

In their encounter, we see Jesus as the True Temple – the place where the Spirit of God dwelled and made the woman clean, spiritually and physically.

 

When I was asked about meeting someone from the Bible in my small group, my body ached. I was at the starting line of a long fight with postpartum depression and I felt ashamed of my failure to adjust as a mother of two.

I chose the bleeding woman because I could relate to her. But far more importantly, Jesus could, too.

In an unexpected way that no other man can, Jesus relates to the necessary pain of women.

The monthly pain women experience, and the pain of labor mothers endure, makes a way for and delivers new life. Jesus gets that. He shed his blood to make a way for our new life and delivered us from our sin.

Then, as a mother nurses her newborn to sustain them, Jesus sustains us as we navigate through a broken, sin-distorted world until it’s time to reunite with him forever.

If I could meet anyone from the Bible — besides Jesus — I think it would still be the bleeding woman. I hope she would tell me all about her kind, compassionate Savior who healed her, rescued her, and sustained her.

And I bet she wouldn’t be surprised to hear he did the same for me.

 

Courage to Proclaim

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Social media and our online lives have created tremendous opportunity for our voices to be heard. From YouTube to Instagram to TikTok, we have an amplifier for our thoughts and opinions, whether essential, mundane, or off-the-wall.

Yet often as Christians, we hesitate to speak. Not about everything — we’ve no compunctions when it comes to sneakers, snacks, or Star Wars. But when it comes to faith, we often muzzle ourselves out of fear. Maybe we just don’t know enough. Maybe someone will be offended. Maybe we’ll come across as just another keyboard warrior lacking in love.

I’ve certainly missed opportunities to speak faithfully in the public square, finding it easier and more comfortable to stay quiet. But this habit of hesitancy can also creep into my offline relationships. I don’t want to disturb relationships or sound judgmental. I may be unsure of the Bible’s application to a situation. So, the moments to speak life-giving words of loving truth pass me by.

How can we find the courage to proclaim the words of God to those around us? A helpful example sometimes comes from an unexpected place. Mentioned in only one Biblical story, the prophetess Huldah spoke the right words at the right time.

After centuries of ongoing idolatry among God’s people, the young King Josiah began to seek the Lord, tearing down altars to false gods and restoring Solomon’s temple to its former glory. It was during this project that the high priest made a discovery that would shape the nation’s history – a book of the Law  (probably Deuteronomy) was found in the temple. It was immediately sent, and read, to the king, who reacted with desperate sorrow. He tore his clothes, knowing that the Law revealed his nation’s guilt and the curses that they rightfully deserved.

But, Josiah did not give in to despair. The history of God’s people is replete with tales of God restoring his people after they have strayed from his ways, and Josiah knew what he needed do: seek the Lord. He needed a voice to interpret the Scripture and show him a path forward that would rescue the people of God. But he didn’t turn to the priests who discovered the scroll. He didn’t even send for one of the writing prophets who were active during his time: Zephaniah, Nahum, or Jeremiah.

Instead, this is where Huldah enters the story. We don’t know why Josiah’s advisors approached her other than her identity as a prophetess. But when Josiah commands them to inquire of the Lord, hers is the home that they visit. And her response is the only recorded statement by a woman throughout Scripture that begins with the ubiquitous prophetic phrase, “Thus says the Lord.”

If you or I were put in this position, we might have been tempted to pull our punches — to reassure, support, encourage, or dissemble. The king had the power and authority to punish on a whim, so fear might have motivated us. Josiah was striving to bring his nation back to the worship of Yahweh, so sympathy may have swayed our hearts as well. But Huldah’s words were bold and clear:

Thus says the Lord, “Behold, I will bring disaster upon this place and upon its inhabitants, all the words of the book that the king of Judah has read. Because they have forsaken me and have made offerings to other gods, that they might provoke me to anger with all the work of their hands, therefore my wrath will be kindled against this place, and it will not be quenched.”

– 2 Kings 22:16-17

Huldah’s speech was courageous and wise. She not only knew the contents of the law but also the heart of its author. She heard the Lord’s voice and shared his words without fear, because she trusted him. Knowing that this message wouldn’t make her popular or admired didn’t deter her bold, faithful proclamation.

Huldah the prophetess never appears again in Scripture, but her knowledge of God and his word had a catalytic effect when she was willing to share it with others. Though her prophecy of judgment came to pass within a generation, there was a renewal of faith and worship in Josiah’s reign. Her courage to proclaim God’s word shaped a nation.

May we be people who pursue the Lord so that our relationship with him might overflow into the lives of those around us, with love, truth, and mercy. May we shake off our fear, emboldened to speak his words.

I will also speak of your testimonies before kings

and shall not be put to shame,

for I find my delight in your commandments,

which I love.

– Psalm 119:46-47

 

Who Should I Follow?

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As a teenager and young adult, the leaders in my life were always limited and clear: parents, coaches, teachers, and pastors. Today, however, I have access to a plethora and diversity of leaders in every aspect of life.

There is an abundance of riches in leadership. And what a gift it is to be able to hear and learn from so many experienced and skilled people in so many areas!

But, this abundance also entails dangerous possibilities when it comes to whom we follow.

We use the term “follow” frequently in today’s world, especially regarding social media, but we often forget the original implications of the word. To follow means that someone is leading us; we are trusting them to inform us, teach us, and shape us, in some way or another, even if we’ve never met.

I’m not only talking about Instagram feeds (although, this definitely applies to social media), but also the books we read, the podcasts we listen to, and the celebrities we desire to emulate—all the different ways we allow, and even invite, others to influence our lives.

Whether considering leaders in the Christian faith or leaders in any field at all, here are three things to consider when deciding who to follow:

1. Character above Charisma

We live in a time of influencers, and Christians certainly have their fair share.

In this atmosphere, personality sometimes matters more than content. Our culture has trained us to value entertainment, so it helps if someone is attractive, witty, and inspiring. However, the goal of the Christian life is not celebrity but Christ-like character. What should matter most is not how persuasive or articulate someone is, but who they are: the narrative of their lives.

Do they love the least of God’s children? Do they speak the truth when it is unpopular? Do they live, and call you to live, submitted to the lordship of Jesus?

Charismatic leaders are exciting and enticing — and certainly you can be charismatic and also a devoted follower of Jesus — but let us remember that physical attractiveness, persuasive speaking skills, and successful ventures are not the most important things about leaders.

What should truly inspire us is a character that is conformed to Christ.

2. Humility above Hubris

Leadership comes with power. But power can be addictive and destructive.

Often, powerful leaders who are self-promoting and prideful are not only tolerated, but celebrated in our culture. Jesus, however, states clearly to his followers, “It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you, must be your servant” (Matthew 20:26).

The leaders we follow should seek to look like Jesus, who although he was God, humbled himself even unto death on a cross. The king of the universe was also the suffering servant, washing the feet of his followers.

Does the person you follow spend more time seeking fame and influence than seeking God and his kingdom? Do they spend the majority of their influence for their own ambition?

When choosing who to follow, let us find someone who, like Jesus, uses their power and position to glorify God and serve other people.

3. Truth above Trend

The most challenging and important aspect of determining who to follow is understanding what they really believe.

Do you know if they hold to orthodox Christian beliefs? Are they part of a Christian community that holds them accountable?

Our beliefs about God, the Bible, and salvation affect everything.

Please do not hear me saying that you cannot learn from anyone who believes differently than you do — you can, and you should. We all should be willing to engage with those whom we disagree and learn from them. However, engagement is different from discipleship.

The world is constantly shifting its values and beliefs, and often the most popular speakers and leaders are not committed to biblical truth.

Before you follow someone — ingesting their books, appropriating their worldview, sympathizing with their purposes — make sure you understand their foundational beliefs. It matters.

 

Recently someone asked me for a list: write down the women to avoid and the women worth following.

Unfortunately, it isn’t always that simple.

What we really need is community, discernment, and wisdom. We need a vibrant and committed personal faith, walking with others, as his Spirit and his people speak to our hearts and minds. We need to study and understand Scripture for ourselves so that we can test the truth pronounced by others through the filter of a biblical lens.

Through our church community, through faithfully listening to God’s voice, through study of his Word, and through our own personal relationship with Jesus, we can develop the discernment to wisely choose which leaders to follow.

When you are following someone, consider where they are leading you. Ultimately, whomever we choose to follow should lead us beyond themselves and to our king.

In the end, in all ways, may we be led, and may we lead, others to submit to, proclaim, and look more like Jesus.

 

Grace: God’s Purposeful Presence

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As Christians, we are always concerned with communicating the Good News of Jesus. The gospel is the message of grace for sinners, life eternal in Christ, and the transforming power of God that impacts every aspect of our lives.

The multidimensional nature of the Gospel is seen clearly in Clear Creek’s spiritual formation chart: our activities are rooted in our gospel identity. Or, said another way, because of who God is and what he has done, we have new identities that transform what we do in this world.

Despite this understanding, however, the gospel can sometimes be presented as the antithesis to good works.

While we may think this provides clarity to the unique and redeeming work of Christ, it can make us uneasy about emphasizing good works. We are afraid we might become legalistic or worse, undermine the grace of God, by preaching a gospel of works.

Neither Jesus nor the apostles are uneasy about emphasizing good works. Jesus says we are the light of the world called to faithfully let that light shine before others so they may see our good works (Matthew 5:14,16). Paul tells us we are to “be rich in good works” (1 Timothy 6:18), “a model of good works” (Titus 2:7), and “zealous for good works” (Titus 2:14). In fact, a key function of the Bible itself is to equip us for every good work (2 Timothy 3:17).

So, where does the tension between grace and good works come from? Are good works optional? Are they ancillary? Or, are they essential to our faith?

A simple definition of grace is God’s unmerited favor. Because we are sinners, we rightly understand that we do not deserve God’s goodness. But, because of the reality of our sinfulness, it’s easy to think of grace as only being granted for our redemption. When God’s grace is only understood to be expressed toward humanity after the fall of the world in Genesis 3, it can cause us to think of grace in a static and transactional way.

Yet, grace for humanity does not originate in the response to the fall and our now sin-tainted life in this world. God is the same, yesterday, today and forever. He did not become gracious after human rebellion corrupted God’s creation.

Instead, we must learn to see God’s gracious will and purpose for humans as the first and defining expression of grace toward humanity.

The world that God created in the beginning was good! It was to be a dynamic place where good works and stewardship were at the heart of the plan. Energy, effort, discipline, growth, and change were essential parts of God’s purposes and gifts to humanity. It was a world full of potential with a story to be written and work to be done!

Yet, remember, Adam and Eve did not choose to be created, they did not earn their existence, and they didn’t deserve the delight of living in God’s good creation. So, we can see that grace was poured out on innocent, not condemned beings. This is the lens through which we must see and understand grace even in our post-fall existence.

Grace is a means not an end. God’s grace for humanity has a purpose — a God-sized purpose — where we exist to reflect his image throughout his creation. He allows us to participate in the greatest good of them all: a relationship with himself. God’s unmerited favor is, has always been and always will be his purposeful presence with us. Grace allows, enables and empowers us. Grace is not opposed to goodness, grit, or goals.

We need to understand this as believers of Christ not just so we do remember that effort is not the same as earning, and that doing is not the same as deserving, but also because it will enable us to fulfill our mission to lead unchurched people to become fully devoted followers of Christ.

We cannot fulfill our purpose apart from knowing and being known by God in Christ, but through him, we can and should do much good in his world.

Grace should energize us to engage in service projects in our community, so the presence of God is manifested for the people of the 4B area. Good works are essential to the Christian life. It’s no wonder that Paul not only says we are to be zealous for good works but that in Christ we were in fact created for good works (Ephesians 2:10).

Our call is to bring wholeness, peace, and justice to God’s creation. To do this, we must go beyond words. The world must see our good works in such a way that they give glory to our Father in Heaven and then are inspired to join us in our calling to reflect God’s grace to the world.

 

Be Angry and Do Not Sin

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One hundred percent of us get angry. No one is exempt. And when we get angry,  bad things often happen.

So, we find it shocking that the Bible says to be angry.

Be angry and do not sin…

– Ephesians 4:26a

Anger is not always bad, and we know this because God himself gets angry. But there is a difference between being angry and becoming an angry person.

I was in a restaurant with friends some time ago, and in the middle of our lunch, a customer was  yelling across the restaurant at his server. He was raging. Clearly, he wanted everyone to hear that he was red-faced, steaming mad about the hair in his food. It was impossible not to.

Now look, that is unfortunate—it’s gross—but you and I both know it’s not worthy of blowing a gasket.

The man was also not alone. He was with a woman, probably his wife, and I wondered, how is she doing now? How is she feeling watching all of this happen?

I bet people walk on eggshells at his house all the time. This guy might have been someone’s boss, neighbor, coworker, friend, or dad! There have been scores of people in this guy’s life, and I’m sure they have stories to tell. Some of them may even have scars to hide.

So, why was this guy so angry? What made him lash out?

Well, anger demands results. It works! Anger makes you feel empowered. People cannot ignore you! Anger helps to reclaim the illusion of power at home, the office, or anywhere in life. Anger helps you feel like you’re winning, but then it really doesn’t.

Angry people eventually lose.

Here are the three reasons why:

1. Anger Injures

Anger is injurious to others, even if it is not acted out. There is a shriveling effect in the souls of people who get a regular dose of toxic anger. Ask anyone who is working with people whose parents or spouse have a problem with anger and you will find that anger creates a kind of insecurity in life. Anger leaves injuries that cuts deep into the soul.

2. Anger Alienates

The high cost of unmanaged anger is that you lose intimacy in relationships. You forfeit friendships, miss out on your spouse and kids, and cut ties of healthy relationships with co-workers. You will probably find yourself and those close to you living with a deep cavern of disconnectedness and loneliness. Anger is like acid on the skin in a relationship.

3. Anger Kills

Uncontrolled anger is deadly. It causes blood pressure to rise and heart rates to increase. But I am not talking really about physical death. Instead, it is relationships, dreams, self-respect, marriages, and families that die.

 

So, let’s assume this man from the restaurant, comes to you. He blew a gasket, but has a moment of sanity and wants help with his anger. Or maybe it’s you. You know you’ve blown it over and over again, and you want to change. How can we be transformed from being angry people to those who walk in a manner worthy of the Lord?

In Ephesians, Paul describes the process:

Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds… But that is not the way you learned Christ!— assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. (Ephesians 4:17, 20-24)

Those who know Christ and believe in his gospel enter a process of transformation. This is the secret to anger that doesn’t consume us or harm others. Disciples of Christ can be angry, but we also must take responsibility for how we are angry. Keep in mind responsibility does not equal control. Most people who struggle with anger have a hard time letting go of control.

We want to try to change by being in control of a few clear steps, even if they are hard, but that’s not actually how God changes us. Change happens progressively as we surrender our lives to God, as we experience his grace toward us, and live in a moment-by-moment connection with God. God does not seek to judge us. Whether you are a liar, a rage-aholic, or a thief, he doesn’t seek to judge you, but to transform you.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

– Ephesians 4:31-5:2

Anger is not always bad, but we must take responsibility for how we respond to anger, and this responsibility is rooted in how God treats us. We are transformed by his grace toward us, his forgiveness toward us, and his love toward us. Through this grace, forgiveness, and love, we should become more like him: sometimes angry, but always loving.

 

For Those Who Are Angry

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Anger is a natural response that every person experience in this life. Sometimes our anger is rooted in our pride, petty inconveniences, jealousy, or selfishness. Other times our anger comes from the Spirit, but even then, our anger is unavoidably tainted by our own sin. What should we do with our anger? May this liturgy guide our hearts and thoughts as we bring our anger before God, submitting it to him in prayer.

O Lord, I am angry and I am afraid.

I am bruised and scarred,

trapped between powers that claim my heart.

I clench my fists in rage and fight,

knowing that my blows only wound

and multiply my bruises to those

you have given me to love.

 

Oh Lord, I claim your Name,

yet I chafe against your ways, and

struggle to lay aside my treasures, or

bow to your will or bear your cross.

So often do I seek your grace to bear my shame

even as my angry ways do harm.

I fear your patient love will grow as

weak as mine and turn away from me, and

leave me in the shadow of my sin,

alone and angry still.

 

Oh Lord hear my cry! I cry for help!

I ask for mercy and for strength.

Open my heart and open my hands.

Turn my heart to you,

empty me of worldly lust and selfishness,

that I would want to follow you,

that I would want to love as you love,

that my anger would manifest as mercy

and sacrificing service.

 

Oh Lord, in your glory and in your anger

you bore my death,

please heal my anger and harness it,

transform my evil into your good,

for truth, for love, for your gospel of grace.

 

O Lord, I am angry and I am afraid.

Hear me, Lord, hear my prayer,

Your steadfast love is my hope,

The cross of your grace is my plea.

5 Ways to Support Church Planting

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If you’ve spent any time at Clear Creek Community Church you’ve probably noticed the commitment to launching new campuses and building new buildings. For some people, this is confusing. Why put forth so much effort and time and money just so people don’t have to drive as far to go to church? It’s a valid question, but one Clear Creek leaders answered a long time ago.

The mission of Clear Creek is to lead unchurched people to become fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ.

There a few problems this mission focuses on. One is that the church’s aim is to reach unchurched people. Unchurched is, as you might surmise, defined as people who do not go to church. The second problem being addressed in this statement is to lead people to full devotion to Jesus. It’s not just about a decision or a good attendance record, but the heart and soul of a person. Clear Creek is intent on walking with people for the long haul.

Alright so, why the multi-campus approach?

Well, Clear Creek seeks not only to be a place people can come on the weekends to worship Jesus, but a community of believers that never turns off.

So, the strategy became creating opportunities; opportunities to come to church at a convenient location, where a family wouldn’t have to drive across town just to get to church; opportunities to join a small group in your own neighborhood; opportunities to be part of a visible impact in the surrounding area by meeting needs, showing support, and caring for people.

But what if we could see that happen, not just southeast of Houston, but beyond? What if we could see that same strategy for expansion all over the world?

I have good news: we can and we are!

On top of its commitment to reach the 4B Area (from the beltway to the beach, from the bay to Brazoria County) Clear Creek Community Church is committed to planting new churches.

In fact, Clear Creek has been directly involved in planting over 50 churches throughout greater Houston in the last 10 years in partnership with an organization it started for just such work, the Houston Church Planting Network (HCPN).

Clear Creek started HCPN to help train church planters as well as partner with other churches in the city that had a heart for church planting.

But maybe you have the same questions about planting churches as some people do about Clear Creek’s multi-campus strategy. You should know, Clear Creek’s commitment is to be a church that is committed to the great commission. To learn more about why Clear Creek plants churches, read the article “Why Plant Churches?” by Tim Keller.

But, this isn’t just something other people are doing, it’s something you can take part in as well.

Here are 5 ways you can personally support church planting:

1. Pick

Clear Creek works with a large number of church planters here in Houston and around the world. Consider picking one out to learn more about and discover ways to engage with the church planter and the new church. Read more about some of our current church planters we are working alongside here: 2020-2021 cohorts & 2019-2020 finishing residents.

2. Pray

After you pick a church planter to support, consider making them a regular part of your prayer life. Most church planters send out a regular church plant update with prayer requests. You can get on the distribution list for one of these planters so you know how to pray specifically for their church.

3. Partner

One of the greatest tangible needs of a church plant is resources to help get the new church launched. Consider coming alongside a church plant with a special gift or becoming a monthly supporter for a season. This greatly helps a church that is reaching new people with the gospel as it often could take multiple years for a new church to become financially self-sustaining.

Not sure of a specific plant to help support? Consider giving to the Clear Creek First Gifts Church Planting & Mission Fund (link to giving fund on clearcreek.org) which helps support church planters in Houston and around the world.

4. Promote 

A key component of church planting is meeting people. The church planter is always looking to meet new people and find ways to get word out about the new plant. Consider promoting the church to people you may know who live in that specific area, especially those that don’t know Jesus. Your social media promotion or call to a friend could go a long way in helping the plant form a community.

5. Participate

Consider actively participating in a new church plant. You could be part of a new church plant team. You could attend for a season, perhaps the first 6-12 months of a new church to help get it off the ground. Some people have gifts that would be especially helpful in the start-up stage.

Maybe it’s just showing up to serve on Sunday’s for a season to assist in a specific Sunday ministry area such as set-up and teardown, children’s ministry, or the worship team. It takes time for new plant to identify and develop people who will serve.

 

To advance the kingdom of God in our area and around the globe, church planting is vital. Grow your heart for church planting by getting involved with the church planting work here at Clear Creek Community Church.

If you’d like to get connected to any Houston church planters you can contact Chad Clarkson ([email protected]) or to find out more about some of our global church planters contact Kari Wilson ([email protected]).

 

Adopting and Adapting

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I love being part of a local church that places an emphasis on adoption and caring for families journeying through the adoption process. My wife, Sarah, and I always knew that we would adopt someday. Adoption and care for the young has been a legacy of the Church since the time of the apostles, and we hoped to follow that tradition. We were aware of Jesus’ command for us to care for orphans and we intended to respond to that call through adoption ourselves.

The opportunity came sooner than we expected.

Four days after Sarah and I found out we were pregnant with our first child, we took in two young sisters who needed a place to live. Eventually, we made the decision, along with the girls, to make our situation formal and legal by going through the adoption process.

My wife and I always envisioned how adopting a child would go. In our minds’ eyes we would bring in a kid who would integrate perfectly into our lives. We would never be worn out or struggle to show them the love and grace that we have experienced in Christ. Sure, we knew that there would be difficulties — we would be bringing a young person with trauma into our home after all. But, we were built for it… right?

Looking back, I might have romanticized the idea of adoption a little too much.

 

Reality Strikes Back

The process of adoption has been full of mental, legal, emotional, and spiritual battles. It’s often said that parenting is a full-time job. This is even more true for parenting an adopted child. The adopted child is not a blank slate waiting to be written upon. Instead, they already have their own pains, beliefs, and opinions, and in some instances, trauma.

I want to say that our adoption experience has been an abnormal one, but I’ve come to realize that there is no such thing as a normal adoption. While books, counseling, and community have helped us adapt to new situations, every adoption is its own unique case with its own unique challenges. Resources can be a survival guide, but the family still has to make the journey.

But, despite the difficulty of the process, adoption has been an incredible gift from the Lord as it is one of the greatest possible illustrations of his love for us.

At times our adopted children have felt unworthy, as if they were not good enough or deserving of our love. It is simply not true. We love them, and they could never do anything to undo that love.

I realized after months of these conversations with my daughters, that for much of my life I actually had the same approach to God.

 

Our Father’s Love

Adoption into God’s family always felt difficult for me. Sure, I could see God loving me enough to send Jesus to take my punishment to give me new life and right standing before God, but bringing me into his family? That was different because it was so personal. If I were to be one of God’s sons, it would mean that I would be intimately, closely known. Justification could be a one-time gift; I am given new life and righteousness and off I go! But adoption would mean a new, never-ending relationship.

This didn’t seem possible. So instead, I strove to be good enough or worthy enough or to work hard enough to show that Jesus’ sacrifice was worth it. I would constantly fight this feeling of not belonging to the family that I have been brought into. Eventually, I knew, it would be found out that I was too imperfect, too unloving, too calloused, too fake to truly be a son of God.

But, being on the other side of the earthly version of the spiritual reality has taught me so much about God and his heart to grow his family through the beauty of adoption.

One of the greatest gifts that the Lord could give us is assurance—the ability for us to know that God loves us enough to restore relationship with us. For followers of Jesus, assurance of our salvation comes with understanding our new relationship with God. He has adopted us into his family. Through the eternal Son, we are now sons and daughters of God! He is our Father and we are brothers and sisters in Christ! What a great gift of assurance!

 

Adoption has been the most difficult thing my wife and I have ever faced. Marriage, financial difficulties, chronic illness – none of them were nearly as difficult as bringing new family members into the home.

Should you consider adoption you must know this: it is difficult and at times painful, but I would make the same decision every time. There have been growing pains along the way, but also moments of incredible joy as we see two young women who used to be distant strangers to us become part of our family.

I am so incredibly thankful that God is the perfect version of what a parent should be.

We fail as parents and fail to love one another as brothers and sisters, but God will never fail. Unlike my wife and I as new parents, God will always be perfectly merciful, forgiving, present, and loving. We can rest in his unfailing love while we continue to demonstrate his love to the world.

 

Are We Really #Blessed?

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A quick search of #blessed on social media will reveal thousands of posts and images. Take a closer look, however, and you might notice that #blessed is almost always connected to a material good, a fun date night, or a job promotion—a success in some form or another. But is this the biblical view of blessing? Are we #blessed by God when we experience happiness, wealth, or health?

The simple answer is yes, because every good gift is a blessing from God.

God created a good world, and it is a gift of grace to be alive, to experience creation, to eat good food, and to enjoy a happy marriage. These are glimpses of the world as it should be, and when we experience these good things, we are indeed blessed. When we celebrate delicious food, beautiful gardens, unique architecture, healthy children, medicine received, we rightly thank God for these blessings. All good gifts are from God, including health, wealth, beauty, and everything else he created.

But while this is a correct view of blessing, it is also incomplete.

What happens when we experience pain, suffering, and setback? Has God turned away?

This idea of being #blessed is really about the kingdom of me, not the kingdom of God. When this is the extent of how we expect to be blessed, we are missing out on the foundational aspect of God’s creation and our redemption in Christ—the abiding presence of God in our life. The biblical depiction of blessedness reveals that it is not ultimately about possessions, comfort, or even happiness, but rather about the transformative power and gift of God’s presence in our lives.

In fact, the entirety of the gospel story is an outworking of God’s promise to Abraham that all the nations would be blessed through him. This doesn’t mean that through Abraham, all the nations would get new cars, cute kids, or fun vacations. God was instead promising to restore what was lost in Eden: relationship with him reconciled, and the consequences of the fall defeated.

This promise was fulfilled in Jesus – God made flesh – who took our consequences of sin in his death and was raised to new life. His resurrected reign is the first fruit of God’s redemption of all things. Jesus is the culmination of God’s promise of blessing to the world.

But, confusion about what it means to be blessed isn’t a new phenomenon. In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus upends what people in his culture, and people still today, regard as being blessed. He says,

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

– Matthew 6:3-10

This description doesn’t seem to include the types of things we see associated with #blessed on social media. Jesus describes being blessed as a life crucified, a life fixed on the hope of righteousness, a life of mourning and mercy and meekness—all found in him.

In fact, this is often what being blessed looks like, right now, for disciples of Jesus. Sometimes it might be a job promotion that reminds of us God’s provision and enables us to care for others. But often, it is our friend weeping beside us as we experience the depth of the brokenness in this world. It is understanding that the world is not as it should be, but that God has made things right in Jesus.

Either way, in the celebrations and in the suffering, all should lead us to the cross where all of God’s blessings are found.

One day, the full extent of blessing will be experienced by God’s people. His people will live in a new and restored world and walk continually in his presence. Being blessed will not be just a moment of happiness or an exciting gift, but the kingdom of God made manifest. The poor in spirit will inherit the kingdom, fully; everyone who mourns will be comforted, finally; the pure in heart shall see God, truly!

But we don’t have to wait for perfection to experience blessing right now.

Through Jesus, we are restored into relationship with God, we experience the power of his presence, and we have a glimpse of the kingdom that is coming.

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be or more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. And he was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.”

– Revelation 21:4-5

We should celebrate the good gifts in our lives. But, when we post a picture and say #blessed, we should also remember that we are presently, ultimately, and perfectly blessed through Christ alone.

 

We’re Missing It

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One Tuesday afternoon, when I had finished a long day of teaching, my daughter asked me to play Barbies with her. I responded with “I will be there in a few minutes!” And then proceeded to continue scrolling my Facebook feed. She yelled from the front room a few minutes later “Mom! You’re missing it!”

She was right. I was missing so much.

Psychologists tell us the primary source of love is attention and compassionate listening. There is something deeply moving when someone stops and looks you in the eyes – when they actually pay attention.

The little moments that feel ridiculously mundane are the moments that are the most impactful.

Our kids learn a lot about God in the simple daily rhythms of snuggling before bed and eating dinner as a family. They are learning that God is consistent and reliable.

Be Present   

Our kids look to us as their parents to be stewards of healthy habits. If we’re overusing technology, we are setting them up for the same struggle. A survey conducted in 2019 showed that adults spend an average of 50 days a year on smartphones.

The research being done about the effects of technology on our kids is staggering. It says that children ages eight-to-10 spend an average of six hours per day in front of a screen, and kids ages 11-to-14 spend an average of nine hours per day in front of a screen.

Childhood mental illnesses are at an all-time high.

We, as parents, are doing equal amounts of damage to our kids when all they see is the glow of the phone screen reflecting on the face of their mom.

We have to set healthy boundaries for ourselves and our children. Our family started using what we call the “be present box.” Our girls know they are able to respectfully ask us to put our screens into the “be present box” if they feel we are spending too much time on our phones.

Build Relationships

Our children will be under our roof for 18 years. There are 940 Saturdays in those 18 years.

If I’m not intentional with my time it just floats away. It disappears into wasted minutes on my phone, or mindlessly watching Stranger Things while working on my laptop.

What I do with my time is what I am doing with my life. I’m learning to exchange online distractions for real live interactions. My children shouldn’t have to compete with a screen for my attention.

Additionally, I see a direct correlation to my kids’ attitude with the amount of screen time they have. Our daughters will create the most amazing games, play dress up, and build friendships when the TV is off – a stark contrast to their mindless zombie stares and silence when the TV is on.

I pray daily that my kids will grow into a deep friendship with each other and with us. My job is to foster that friendship, and a simple first step is to limit the amount of time they have in front of a screen and encourage more face-to-face interactions.

Disciple Your Kids

When asked which is the greatest commandment, Jesus tells his listeners to “love the Lord,” referencing Deuteronomy 6. But, right next to this famous verse is another which admonishes parents to diligently teach their children the law of God.

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

– Deuteronomy 6:4-7

We don’t control our sons’ and daughters’ faith journeys. But we absolutely have a role in them. We must disciple them face to face. We can’t leave it to children’s ministry volunteers once a week at church. It takes diligence and intention and it’s my God given role as their mother.

And I believe it starts with me putting down my phone and looking them in the eyes.

 

Here’s the thing, I want my kids to remember my eyes – my eyes watching them grow, my eyes reading with them, my eyes as I tell them I’m proud of them and that I love them, my eyes as I discipline them and disciple them, and my eyes looking towards Jesus.

I don’t want them to remember my eyes constantly occupied with a screen.

When I put down my phone, it’s easier to look up and live the life that’s right in front of me.

I don’t want to miss it.