5 Tips for Parenting in the Digital Age

/in , , /by

Technology is everywhere. Even our children are enamored by digital assistants, surrounded by personalized ads, and immersed in multiple devices. It’s changed the ways families live and interact.

There are wonderful graces that accompany these advances. Information is more portable and accessible. We are able to stay connected to family and friends hundreds of miles apart.

As parents, though, we wonder how much technology consumption is just right for our children at every developmental stage. Every child and situation is unique, so it seems as if none of the answers we find online fit perfectly.

Even so, there are some guidelines which can inform family discussions and illuminate decision making for families seeking to navigate this brave new world.

Here are five principles to consider as you lead your children through their interactions with technology in today’s environment.

1. Connect with other parents.

Partner with parents who share your values and who are navigating this journey simultaneously. For us, this occurred in our small group. We had parents to bounce ideas off of, to share experiences, and help keep abreast of emerging trends.

2. Check the Content.

Scrutinize. Be a gatekeeper. Common Sense Media is a solid place to start. They have age-graded reviews and resources ranging from movies to video games to social media and other online platforms. In the beginning, movies and video games are the “content” most parents must monitor.

Over time, apps, websites, social media ought to be considered content as well. Think about what your child interacts with the most. Does every child in your family need the same restrictions? Why or why not?

3. Chaperone your Child.

The word chaperone conveys this idea of going with, or alongside, someone. It’s not an end destination, but it needs to be on the path toward autonomy and not a forgotten rest stop. Checking out the content and checking on your child are two different things. One monitors media, the other monitors behavior.

As parents, we like to threaten our kids with things like, “Well, who do you think is paying for that?” But honestly, does “Who is paying” matter? What happens if the young person gets a job and starts paying? What if they go behind your back to get a cheap throw away phone? For every guideline, for every rule you put in place, explain why. Because one day, you want them to be able to think through new problems with a solid rationale. One day, they will be paying. What do you want them to know? What skills do you want them to possess?

All of it begins with you being a role model and leader in your own home. Start by addressing your own sinful patterns with respect to technology—and walk alongside your child as you both strive to strike a healthy balance in your media consumption.

Children have a hard time processing why you can be on your phone, but they aren’t allowed to be on their device. If they see you tied to your own technology, and if that tie interferes with your interactions with them, be prepared for some dissonance. If devices must be powered down at night or charged in a central location, consider making it a house rule instead of a child-only rule.

4. Counsel with Conversations.

You must create open lines of communication and trust so your children will come to you when they have problems. Counsel doesn’t mean you just give your kids advice.

Young people want to know, “Why are you talking to me?” They have the ability to look up everything you are saying on the internet. They don’t need you to answer random trivia questions or to show them how to fix anything.

Was the internet around when you were a kid? So, why are you worthy of speaking counsel into their lives? Trust is the ultimate goal of your relationship with your child.

5. Create Healthy Habits.

There will be times when your child is not physically with you. They may be playing with friends, at a sleepover, or at school. You will not be able to control what they are exposed to via other children’s devices. However, you do have the opportunity to build healthy habits and to talk through possible scenarios.

  • What will you do when you see something inappropriate on someone else’s phone?
  • How do you react when the music being played is crude or vulgar?
  • What questions should you quickly ask before someone offers to share a picture or video?

Many of these situations happen organically and your child must respond quickly. Sometimes, they must choose what to say or do after the fact. Counseling them before and after incidents occur helps to build healthy habits and gives your children tools for proactively protecting themselves from inappropriate content or behavior from others.

 

There are things we have to address as parents that generations before us never did. But the goal remains the same as it always has. We want to raise our children to be thriving, contributing members of society, to look on others with compassion and kindness, and to love Jesus with everything they have.

 

096: The Avengers & the Gospel

/in , , /by

It’s easy to get swept up in the cinematic universe of Marvel. With its wide range of superheroes and underdogs and its consistent humor and heart, there is something for everyone: spaceships, time travel, spies, and even romance. Beyond the fun and entertainment, these stories also evoke longings we all share like heroism, redemption, and a world rescued from evil.

In this episode, Rachel Chester sits down with Church on Wednesday pastor Lance Lawson, and Mandy Turner, who teaches Clear Creek’s Women’s Systematic class, to discuss their favorite Avengers and how these stories echo the Gospel.

 

What Is My Purpose?

/in , , , , /by

What does God want us to do with our lives? Does he have a plan for each of us? If you’ve ever asked these questions or ones like them, know that the Bible does provide some clarity. Watch this video to learn more.

To learn more about Clear Creek Community Church, visit clearcreek.org

Follow us on social media:

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/clearcreek.org​​
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/clearcreekc​​…
Twitter – https://www.twitter.com/_cccc/​

Open Heart Surgery

/in , , /by

The symptoms might be straight forward, subtle, or even hidden; there is a gradual decline or a sudden onset of excruciating pain. Either way, the pathways narrow, the heart becomes hardened, and the pain brings you to your knees.

Regardless of how it happens, when divorce hits, the heart aches. It is both physical and emotional, and it is imperative to find help.

The harm of divorce or separation is far-reaching and takes more than a six-hour surgery or a 13-week rehab program to repair. It is truly one of the most painful experiences in life, undermining our capacity — emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, and relationally — for months or even years.

Divorce places us under a microscope, magnifying our strengths and weaknesses. Through it we see how our personal history and the desires of our heart are critical risk factors. This can be overwhelming and leave us stuck in bondage to the past or paralyzed by fear of the future.

We must remember the wisdom of Proverbs 4:23:

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

There is hope even when our hearts are broken.

I found hope in recognizing the need for help and risking vulnerability. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable can open our eyes to our own weaknesses and instill a longing for safety in something greater than ourselves.

I found hope in understanding the recovery process and listening to divorce care experts. Many of them are counselors, speakers, authors and licensed therapists who know firsthand the devastation of divorce having experienced it themselves and are now trained to equip and empower those who are hurting.

I found hope in a community with others who are suffering from the same kind of pain, even in different circumstances. Hebrews 10:24-25 reminds us of the importance of fellowship so that we can encourage one another through good times and hard times. Community moves us from a self-centered space to an interdependent space, and that is God’s design.

And I found hope in serving others in the midst of my misery. By reaching out to others in small, caring ways, meaningful connections were created. Serving someone else shifted my focus.

But ultimately, true hope is found in Jesus Christ.

When I was in the midst of my own divorce, I wish I had known where to look. In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus tells us, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” But instead, I was searching for financial independence, purpose, and identity in my career.

Then, to manage the emotional fallout of divorce, I did what was comfortable for me, keeping everything personal and private. My community was wrapped tightly around peers in the workforce, and any downtime was spent with my two babies or reading the latest self-help books. My symptoms were apparent, but I tucked them away as I filled my days with busyness to shield myself from pain and disappointment.

I forged ahead alone, and, unbeknownst to me, I was exhausted.

One year later, a friend gifted me a book — a Life Application Study Bible — and for the first time, I began to dig deep for answers. It turns out that the Bible didn’t tell me to persevere and help myself; instead, it pointed to someone other than me: Jesus.

In my brokenness, I felt guilt, shame, and bitterness, but through God’s Word, I discovered grace, truth and love. I began to truly understand what Jesus did for me that no one else would, or could, do.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

— Romans 5:8

Recovery wasn’t immediate, but over the years, my broken heart was slowly healed and filled with gratitude. My community grew to include people who genuinely loved God and desired to serve others. At last, my confidence was rooted in the character of God and the truth that is in Jesus. 

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

— Ephesians 4:22-24.

Even still, recovery is long and hard. The pathways are narrow and there are unexpected barriers and immeasurable risks. Recovery, and even non-recovery life, requires community, communication, and accountability. Others who have been through divorce will attest that the road of recovery includes progress, but also plateaus and setbacks, much like healing after open heart surgery. But everything suddenly changes when we invite Jesus — the Great Physician — into the operating room.

Jehovah Rapha translates to “The Lord who heals.” Except this healer heals us from the inside out.

Jesus inspects every aspect of our life and then removes all barriers between us and him. He comforts, restores, and grafts new pathways that are full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22). Jesus understands that recovery is gradual and slow. In fact, he allows us to benefit from his work over a lifetime, discovering that there can be beauty in the pain and process of it all.

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you.  And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

— Ezekiel 36:26

Lord, please draw near to those who are struggling with separation or divorce. Let them know they are not alone. Give them the confidence to ask for help and lead them to a community of people who point to you.

 

 

095: Star Wars and the Hope We Have

/in , /by

It started with three movies in the late 70s and early 80s, but Star Wars has been a cultural mainstay ever since. So why does this story resonate with people from multiple generations? And what does this staying power say about the God-shaped hole in all of us? On this episode, Jon Coffey is joined by Yancey Arrington and Aric Harding to discuss all the things they love about Star Wars and the bigger story it echoes.

 

3 Vital Steps to Using Social Media for Good

/in , /by

When people talk about “the problem with the world today,” social media is usually near the top of the list.

The fact that you’re reading this probably means you’ve been thinking about how social media seems to have few, if any, redeeming qualities.

I don’t blame you for thinking that.

But social media, by itself, is actually neutral. It’s a created technology that can be used for bad, but more importantly, something that can be used for good.

So, here are three vital steps to using social media for good.

1. Evaluate the What

Evaluate? Really? I’m searching for answers about how to use social media for good and you’re essentially telling me to think about it?

Well, yes, I am.

If you want to be intentional about using social media for good, you need to evaluate what you are already doing with it.

Look at your timeline. What types of content do you find? Pictures, videos, or text?

Are you primarily creating this content or are you sharing stuff from other people?

How often are you posting? Every day? Every week? Or once every three months?

Who do you follow or friend? Are they people you know or complete strangers? How many organizations or businesses do you follow?

How often do you comment on other people’s posts? How often do you spend time in conversations through direct messages?

How much time are you spending on social media?

After this evaluation, you should be able see some trends, and be able to answer the most important question, which leads us to the next step.

2. Evaluate the Why

Okay, wait a second. Now you’re telling me to think about why I even have social media?! I just wanted advice on some stuff to post!

Trust me, answering this question will free you up to do the things that have the most kingdom impact online.

If you can answer “why do I have a social account?” then you can start strategizing how to individually use it for good.

Do you have Facebook to keep up with your extended family and old friends? Do you have it to exercise those creative muscles by creating videos or capturing engaging photos?

Do you use it as a source of news? Or do you use social media as a means of communication with your friends?

You could use social media to escape your everyday life. You could use it to converse with (read “argue with”) people you don’t agree with. Some people even use social media simply to “hate follow” others because they like watching someone else fail or do something they think is ridiculous.

There are a lot of reasons people have social media, but you need to figure out why it is that you have it.

Because more than just having a personal social media strategy, we should think about a personal life strategy that can help us live out our Christian faith in everything we do, including how we interact with our online community.

To start, I would use Colossians 3:17 as a filter “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Notice Paul doesn’t tell us what to do but instead he tells us why we should do it.

It should be in the name of Jesus.

3. Be Intentional With the How

Finally, what I’m here for!

Well, if you’re hoping I’ll give you a quick “ABC’s to using social media for good” strategy, I think you’re going to be left wanting more than I can provide.

Because in the end, your strategy will look different than mine.

We are different people with different hobbies, gifts, interests, and lives.

The point here is to be intentional about everything you do on social media. Let the why inform the how.

Here’s an example of being intentional with the how.

Take a look through your friends list on Facebook or Instagram. I believe everything happens for a reason — even down to the friends you’ve connected with over the years.

You will find people that you haven’t talked to in a long time. Pray for a few of them. Think about why God has placed them in your life. Ask him to give you courage and opportunities to share the Gospel with those who haven’t heard it.

This is one very small thing, but it’s intentional.

When companies like Nike, Southwest Airlines, and Toyota are trying to sell you a product, they are very intentional about the things they post and the ways they interact with others on social media. It’s no different for us, except that we aren’t trying to sell a product.

We’re trying to help people know Jesus better than they did yesterday.

Social media is simply another tool at our disposal.

 

As you work through all of this, I’d love to know what you come up with! Hit me up on social media: @jon_crump

“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

– Colossians 3:17

 

094: What Disney’s Soul Says About Purpose and Identity

/in , , /by

“Is all this living really worth dying for?” asks 22 — a supporting character in Disney’s Soul. This is the primary question Soul seeks to answer throughout the movie, and it’s the question that many people wrestle with throughout their life. Is there a purpose to living? And if so, what is my purpose? On this episode, Ryan Lehtinen is joined by Aaron Lutz and Lance Lawson to discuss what the Bible says about this topic and how Soul portrays our purpose, identity, and the role of community.

 

What Does it Look Like to Love God?

/in , , /by

Jesus said the greatest commandment is for us to love God with all of our heart, soul, and might. But how do we do that? What does that practically look like in our lives?

To learn more about Clear Creek Community Church, visit clearcreek.org

Follow us on social media:

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/clearcreek.org​​
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/clearcreekc​​…
Twitter – https://www.twitter.com/_cccc/​

093: Harry Potter & the Gospel

/in , /by

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone took the world by storm in the late 90s and then again in the early 2000s with its film adaptation. Over the decades that followed, enthusiasm for the series remained a constant in culture garnering millions of fans. But for all its support, the story also found itself mired in controversy over witchcraft and magic. In the first episode of the Clear Creek Resources summer series, Jon Coffey discusses Harry Potter, its tension, and the biblical truths it echoes with Rachel Chester, and Church on Wednesday campus elder, Daniel Garcia.

 

Bring the Fish

/in , , , , /by

There’s a character in the Bible who you’ll miss if you aren’t looking for him. He’s only mentioned in one verse, but his role in the story is fascinating.

He’s a young boy. We never even learn his name. But one day somewhere near the Sea of Galilee, in the midst of a crowd of over 5,000 people, he gets to give Jesus something.

You see, there’s a problem.

Jesus – an emerging celebrity in the land – is ministering to people, healing the sick, teaching about God’s kingdom, and making extraordinary claims about who he is and what he’s on earth to do. All of that adds up to a lot of people wanting to see this guy for themselves; to see if the stories are true. Jesus wants to teach them about the love of the Father. He wants to dismantle their false beliefs about who God is and what he wants for them. And he also wants to meet their needs.

In this case, he wants to feed them.

But where can you find enough food to feed a stadium full of people? And who’s going to pay for it?

That’s what the disciples want to know.

Until our pal – the boy – enters the story.

One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, said to him, “There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish, but what are they for so many?”

– John 6:8-9

Scripture doesn’t say whether Andrew just happened to notice this boy with a picnic lunch, or if the boy came and tapped him on the shoulder to offer his meal. But however it happened, the moment comes where this bread and fish is offered to Jesus.

And he gets that look in his eye; that look the disciples have come to know all too well.

Jesus said, “Have the people sit down.”

– John 6:10

I’m willing to bet he said it with a grin.

Jesus then took the loaves, and when he had given thanks, he distributed them to those who were seated. So also the fish, as much as they wanted. And when they had eaten their fill, he told his disciples, “Gather up the leftover fragments, that nothing may be lost.” So they gathered them up and filled twelve baskets with fragments from the five barley loaves left by those who had eaten. When the people saw the sign that he had done, they said, “This is indeed the Prophet who is to come into the world!”

– John 6:11-14

And that’s the end of the episode. We never hear about the boy again. Jesus leaves the crowd and journeys on.

So, doesn’t the boy seem kind of insignificant?

Well, here’s the thing: he is insignificant. He’s just a kid who brought some fish to a get-together.

What is significant is the impact these offerings made. What is significant is the miracle-working fully man, fully God Jesus ending up with the fish in his hands.

Did he need this boy’s meal?

Of course not. He could have produced fish from thin air or called bread to rain down from the sky. But, instead, he invited this picnic-packing kid into the work he was doing.

And it’s the same with us.

In the middle of this great big world and this grand eternal story, it’s easy to feel small and insignificant.

It’s easy to feel like you have nothing to offer God, or, at least, like you have less than someone else.

But God doesn’t care how much you have. He’s concerned with what you do with it.

Just like the boy in the story, we are invited into the work he’s already doing, and that makes what we have significant. Because in the hands of the God of the universe, even the smallest offering of our time, energy, talents, or resources can have an exponential impact – an eternal impact.

All we have to do is bring the fish.